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Stupid-no-Jutsu : The art of being stupid.
Finally released in a totally unabridged format.

Right now I'm scared. I woke up scared. I just want to tell him how sorry I am for everything. I don't know how long I have to wait to speak with him, and it scares me...maybe never?

Maybe he doesn't want me to be a part of his life anymore. It just hurts so badly. Its technically been about 50 or so hours since he left. But it still hurts. All the times I said I wanted him gone were lies, and I don't understand why I ever said them to begin with.

Its my fault he started to fall out of love with me. I did it all. I ******** lost the one thing that meant more than the world to me. I love him so much, I just can't take it. I want to just leave school, finish all my legal matters, and go there. But I can't and he wouldn't want me to. I want to start again so badly. I can't wait. I want to do everything right again. I want to treat him right again. I don't want to raise my voice again, (but it is bound to happen) I want to be the one he loves with all his heart again.

It brings me to tears to say this, since I don't know if he wants me to or not. I want to. I really want to. I can't stop myself. I love him, and I can't stop that even if I wanted. It kills me to wait online for him, and not even know if its really him, or just an imposter.

Maybe he likes Pam. I don't know, I don't care. I still love him. I still loved him when he liked Tiffany. And I still love him now. I want to hurt myself the way I hurt him, so I know what it was like. I want to feel his pain, take it as my own so he doesn't have to feel it anymore.

I may be obsessed. I may be crazy. But I know I love him.

God damnit. I wish I knew how he is doing.







User Comments: [2] [add]
Shadow - Dragon
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sun Feb 13, 2005 @ 04:29pm
Hey sweets it's okay *hugs tightly* I'm sorry about last night, it's just really windy here. They should have everything fixed by tonight, I'm happy that I can get this little amount of time on. With the flickering of power I dont have much time on but they said that tonight everything should be back in order. I miss you *hugs*. I love you


commentCommented on: Sun Feb 13, 2005 @ 04:35pm
You're on?

;_;



ShaIIow
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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