|
My feelings don't matter, they never have. If they mattered, then why did he become such a cold-hearted jerk? He called me a b***h, and other rude things when I haven't said a thing to him!
Well you know what, I still love that cold-hearted jerk! He treated me like s**t, said he would call, said he would come back, when all along he went there knowing he was going to start a new relationship. I have been lied to more this week than in the entire relationship, but you know what, I still ******** love him.
Its stupid of me to even care, after him telling me that theres no chance in hell for us to even be together. He meant the world to me, and still does, and my world has been stripped from me. I can't close my eyes and fall asleep for more than ten minutes without waking again and staring up at the ceiling.
He slept with me knowing that he was going to leave me, and he said "I love you Tina, I will come back to you" that was bullshit, and I believed in it. My mom told me to believe in it since he said he couldn't say I love you without meaning it. And he SAID it. Several times before he left, he even spent the night with me and hurt me again.
He has his reason to wake up in the morning, that used to be me. He wanted to have children with me, and marry me, and I wanted to do that with him so badly. I was planning something after graduation, but now I can't do it.
My parents tell me that he isn't the one for me, I still don't want to let go of that fact. In my heart he is still. And probably will remain so for a long time. Maybe I will never recover from this. I'll probably have a few bad relationships with guys that treat me like s**t, who cares? I honestly don't give a ******** what happens to me anymore.
Why should I care? My friends care about me, but I don't even care about myself. They have their loves, their dreams, while I just lost it.
Raymond owes me an apology. And don't you bloody hell tell me you don't owe me s**t. You do owe me one. If you have an ounce of love for me left, at least apologize. I know you do, its in there.
But you know something, I might not be around to see or hear it. You taught me a lot Raymond.
I KNOW I HURT YOU. AND TREATED YOU LIKE s**t, BUT IT TAKES TWO.
So don't you dare say people hate you, because that is not true. They should hate me. MY FRIENDS STILL LIKE YOU. And I don't see why.
But you know what, I still love you.
|
Community Member
Congrats! 3nodding