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screw it... i don't want friends anymore... not if this is what a "friendship" is. i'm sick of people telling me what to do, what to think, what to feel... what they tell me i'm doing is wrong... how i feel is wrong... how i live is wrong when they are just as bad... but i atleast have the guts to say it up from and in the open that I AM A SCREW UP! i've never denied that fact not even once... and i never will. yes i am a bit "emo" but so is everyone. yes i use to cut... yes i stopped... yes i started again recently... yes i cry... yes i write about it... but now... i am not fake.. think it if you wish... but i know i am not a fake friend. i will not say "there there everything will be alright" when its not... it's not realistic. today i lost my bestfriend... honestly... i don't feel anything right at this second... no anger...no sadness... no fear or pain... right now my body is empty from emotion. at first yes i had many emotions... many telling me 'cut... it'll take the pain away' i fought that feeling cause the felling of that last a minute maybe two... but so does my anger. it's 4am... i don't really feel like sleeping or anything. nothing really matters right now... i need a cig though... whatever.
all i really want to say is... i don't feel sorry for the fights... i feel sorry for you... why? because it take one to start a fight... two to keep it going and two to resolve it... and that just won't happen... not this time...