i just started 2 figure out how much of a bad person i am....i get people 2 fall for me then i just throw them 2 the side when they r not of use 2 me anymore...*sighs* god this is a bad feeling...when u love some1 u should be with them right??? well y is it that when u can't be with the 1 u love u do everything in ur power 2 make that person jealous?? JEALOUSY DOESN'T WORK!!! i have tried many of times....all it gets u is more people hurt and u still all alone...people tell me i am such a "good" person...those people have never seen the real me...the real me is way different...i am more into what can benefit me then what will any1 else...i love 2 be the center of attention...if i can make u fall for me i will....i want 2 feel loved...even though it seems it will never happen...no 1 person has ever made me feel like i truly belonged....i feel alone and the only time i feel like i have done something important is when some1 is thanxing me for something stupid that doesn't even matter...when some1 tells me they love me i am happy for about an hour then i don't care about that person anymore and i just tell them i love them 2 just so they don't get sad or upset....i feel as if in the end i am just what people call me...a "heart eater"....i think i have made more men fall for me then i even know...i am a big flirt and i don't seem to be stopping anytime soon..i try not 2 think about what i do and just try 2 be happy....but i was thinking about it 2day when over 3 people said they loved me....i really need 2 step back and look at myself and my feeling find who i really love and be with them...i hate to say it like that but it's the only way i know how....i "love" all the men that love me i suppost....but there is only 1 that i can be with...and i need that 1 person 2 be the man i love with all my heart....i have to step back and look at it...soon every1 will know who i really want but until then i will be alone...
thanx you all,
Miho/Kaya
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