It is possible that I just can't understand other people?
Is it possible to be torn into pieces cos you just can't cope anymore?
Is it possible to have no-one to talk to without getting the same reply?
Is it possible to long for something you can't seem to have?
Is it possible that I am still a victim of bulling?
Is it possible to ignore something for so long that it hurts too much?
Is it possible to value someones friendship more than petty arguments?
I'm all full of questions I can't answer and to be honest I shouldn't really be thinking about.
I'm feeling horribly isolated and am finding myself clinging to people I don't even know that well. Maybe I should just do that for the rest of my life, but then I'll never develop adequate social skills to survive in the big wide world.. I don't like being confused when I'm all on my own and the only thing I can think of is seriously how twatty people are being recently. Does anyone value anything anymore? I value friendship but I struggle with keeping them cos I'm so difficult and I have my moments where enough is enough. I'm seriously starting to look forward to uni after years upon years of dreading it's slow but steady approach. Then I guess I can really make a new start and learn from the mass of mistakes I make on a now what seems a regular basis. This is how life is 'mean't' to go but for the majority it doesn't. It seems to be the same mistakes again and again and again.
I watched the second act of 'Oliver' today with Orlin. It was good don't get me wrong but the script was far too rushed. You couldn't empatheise with characters cos they were on and off stage constantly. >< This kid Tom who's playing Fagin was FANTASTIC. I mean wow. o_o; He nailed the part exactly how Fagin is mean't to be. New found respect? Yes!! I kinda regret dropping out, I mean it looks so much fun but my part only had 3 lines and it felt pointless for me to go to the mass of erhersals just for that. So no regrets there. :] Nick makes a great drunk though. XD
It's Chris&mine 20 month anniversary thing. [yeah we're rather sad]. He woke me back up this mornign gave me a kiss and it was sweet cos he isn't usually anything like that. So that made me smile and I'm not going to let this trivial confusions ruin my happiness, they do that too much. D< And I so know what he's getting for valentines now. ;]
Anyways, I shall update more often cos I feel like this is my outlet at the moment. Aside from my notebook thing cos I doodle loads in there which makes me feel better. :]
 HoverCrab · Tue Feb 06, 2007 @ 03:56pm · 0 Comments |
