Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

lately i haven't been sleeping much...or at all most night. when i do sleep i don't sleep well... i keep having nightmare and i keep waking up really sore.... i don't know... just been having alot on my mind the past few week... i tried talking to my brother about it this morning... but i just can't open up to him like i use to...
very few people i can tell things to anymore... i don't want people thinking theres something wrong with me... although i know there is... mike and daniel keep telling me to go get an eval. but i'm afraid to... i don't want my mom to know i don't really want anyone to know... but i know alot of the people i'm close to see how i feel even though i really try hard to hide it... these fake smiles are wearing thinner and thinner...theres too much on my mind right now that i can't really figure out whats the main this and whats what... i really like someone but then i think of tj and i get scared... as always he's on my mind... i want him out of it but then i think of tommy and i just can;t. i love tommy too much... sad
wow this journal is ramble city... oh well.
i just don't know what to do... i'm slowly giving up on everything......