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The Journal that was too cool for a title.
It's too cool for a title
I've had it with some s**t...
Ok, so I had a blast this weekend, and I'm in a good mood, but it's one of those times to rant... Ugh, I hate this s**t. If you want the happy, check my DeviantART journal. There's a link in my profile.

I don't even know... I think I'm really digging myself into a hole, and I don't care. I just don't care what happens to me anymore right now. I'm ******** lonely... I want someone to ******** hold. I need to get out of Maryland...

Change may be inevitable, but that sure as ******** doesn't mean I have to ******** like it. I'm scared of change... I always have been. Foster home bullshit, new family, then I got settled in Florida, we moved to Maryland and I had to start over, and soon I'll have to do that again. I know its a part of life. We can't stop it... but I want to. For once, I'm happy. I've got a good life in my own eyes right now, and I don't want that to deviate, even if it could be better. Right now is all I've ever wanted...

I feel sick to my ******** stomach... I'm happy. I'm in love, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. She's everything to me, but I can't get another out of my mind lately... Why?!
Another brick

***
Do you know how I feel? Did you ever ******** care...? You'll never know what you did to me, or what I gave for you. You don't even ******** remember me, do you?
Another brick

***
You have no idea what I want to tell you, and you never will because I'm scared. Maybe you're better off that way. I always had a crush on you but I was too scared to say anything... I thought it went away. I didn't think of you for a while, but now I do again... I just want you to feel the same way about me...
Another brick

***
I hope you rot just like I have. You're just the same as me. I used to be jealous of you. You were every ******** thing I used to be, and I loved you. Now you're just like I am now... Chemicals are better friends than people. You said once you could never forget me, and never replace me. Guess what. You ******** did.
Another ******** brick

***
I love you. I'll always love you. I know you love me. Please don't hate me. I can't do that again... You make me so happy... I just want to do the same for you. Forever. Please don't leave me.
You're my one window to the outside, Mae...

This wall ain't coming down... There's no way to tear this one down... All I have is my one little window... Everything else is just my little world thats only going to change soon...

I'm like a little ******** kid. I'm scared of being alone... I'm scared of dying alone. I'm always scared...





 
 
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