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Monkey Airplane Soldier

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My last entry was officially depressing, so I'm writing a new one. lalala....deflates ....la..... sigh It's tuesday and I feel blah. v'got hebrew school today but no school, which makes hebrew school seem all the worse. I have piles of homework. In two days I have to go BACK to the dentist to get some fillings, and then a week from tomorrow I'm getting braces. I probably won't see any friends today, and I've just realized how many people out there in the world hate me without even knowing me, just because of the labels they've put on me. I'm tired of complaining, though, because I know you're all getting sick of it. so I'll talk about something else. Um...let's see.....happy thoughts, right? Well....I have crew tomorrow and the rest of the week! That's good. Although I dunno when the dentist appointment is on Thursday so I sure as hell hope I get to go to crew. Maybe I need therapy. I'll look into that. Or maybe I should just go smack my head against the pavement so I don't have to pay attention to how depressing my life suddenly seems.

Posted by: the silver fire Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 06:46pm

I'm a girl, in real life, my avi is just.....confused. sweatdrop

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the silver fire
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 07:07pm


	LALALALA!!!! now I'm talking to someone who's making me feel cheerfuller so I don't feel as completely miserable. Like, mostly. LALALALALAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 08:28pm


	I bet no one wants to comment cause I whine too much.....thinks HERE'S ME NOT WHINING!!! DUM DEE DUM DEE DUM!!! I'M HAPPY AND CHEERFUL AND NO ONE HAS TO HATE ME ANYMORE!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!! JOY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY!!! GIGGLES AND PUPPIES AND....and....yawns Boy, capital letters sure tire me out.....

the silver fire
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mavi_raya16
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 08:47pm


	I can break her heart... I can ruin my life... I could not care... I could just die... I could maybe strangle myself... I could pretend that love didn't exist... I could drown myself... I could just stop. And think. And wait. I could just wonder... What it is I have to do to please everyone... How much longer I can last... Until I just... dissapear. That wasn't ****** supposed to be a ****** poem. She's torturing me... The other one is torturing me as well... I can't tell which is more painful.

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:12pm


	You need a hug. You need a million thousand hugs and a million thousand kisses, you know that? Don't do any of those things...don't strangle yourself or pretend that love didn't exist, don't drown yourself and don't disappear, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I've made you feel trapped, which I probably have....I'm really really really really really really really really really really sorry. The only thing I can think about right now is how much I want to take back everything I've ever complained about this, because it is just worse for you, and I feel like such an idiot for not realizing that sooner.... You don't have to please everyone. You don't have to do anything besides what you're doing, which is obviously that you're trying your hardest to get by and be okay and stuff....look, I'm really really really sorry I've been such a b**h about all this, okay? I don't want to make anything painful for you...you have no idea how desperate I am right now to fix this for you, to just make everything better so you don't have any pain at all, cause you don't deserve to have any pain, you haven't done a damn thing wrong.... Just....just give me your pain, okay? I'll carry it for you a while. Just relax and let me take the burden for a while. You deserve a break. Don't worry and don't cry, and don't be sad, just live your life and try to be happy and stuff, alright?! You don't have to let anything get you down. I'll take your hurt. I WANT to take it, so you don't have to. This should be me; "Hey, Maya, what's up?" This should be you, "HEY ZOE!!!! bubbles bubbles cheery happy stuff* Guess what? I baked a cake the other day! It was chocolate. I'll bring you a piece sometime, okay? Guess what else? I can't wait til after school when you have crew and I have rehearsal!" xd I'm going to give you the biggest hug you've ever gotten next time I see you.....

the silver fire
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mavi_raya16
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:16pm


	Zoe, my ****** depressing peice of **** stupid writing isn't really all you. My mom was torturing me again, she screamed..i cried..i screamed...she cried...whatever. i am so sick of this. You have no idea how depressed I am. She caught me on Gaia and then she started onto this thing about how she wants me to have a good life and all that st. You know what? We were right......about how she doesn't like the way I am. She like ADMITTED it. And apparently there's this fear she has about me having a crappy life because I'm like destroying my life or something by not concentrating on my studies.

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:22pm


	What you said about how I'm trying and how you made me feel trapped........I wish it were all lies......but it's kind of true. It's not really you though. I feel like I'm hurting her, but I'm hurting you too. Zoe......I just don't know what to do. Zoe...maybe if I go to hell, it won't be that bad for me...because it already feels like all hell broke loose on earth........but just for me. You know what would be nice? If I got hurt and I could get hospitalized! Then I could just sit there by myself........ ******** it all.

mavi_raya16
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the silver fire
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:27pm


	Oi.... You still get hugs, for the record. By not concentrating on your studies? But...what?! You're in eighth grade. I think....I think your mom is a little scared right now, honey. I think she feels like she needs to be a good mom, but she has no one to talk to about it, so she isn't quite handling it right. The thought of me and you going out probably freaks her out cause it's a foreign idea to her, so she reacts by not letting us see each other. Same way she's probably not letting us see each other because she's uncomfortable with you being the way you are. I wish she'd talk to my mom. My mom has had three kids and she seems to be handling this fine. Just...will you do me a favor? Will you hold on til tomorrow when I can see you at school? Maybe after crew/rehearsal we can talk. And hug. Mostly DEFINITELY we will hug.

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:33pm


	She threatened to tell my dad. I'd probably never see you guys again. Announcement for everyone: If I start crying tomorrow suddenly at the lunch table or something....forgive me.

mavi_raya16
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the silver fire
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Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:40pm


	I know you're feeling trapped. Honey, you're not hurting me. Your mom, maybe a bit. sweatdrop but you're not doing anything wrong. No, it would not be good if you were hospitalized, because then I'd be sitting by your bedside day and night and I wouldn't get any sleep! Of course, then no one could really tell me when I could see you. sweatdrop Look, I think I know how you're feeling....at least a little bit. you feel hopeless and like nothing is under your control, and because of that you feel like your life is going to be miserable. Well, guess what? It can only get better from here, because that's how stuff works. It gets really bad for a while and then something happens to make you happy. Don't lose hope, birdie. I'm with you, okay? We'll stick together and we WILL get through this.

Commented on: Tue Feb 27, 2007 @ 09:41pm


	Did she- did she really threaten to tell your dad? I...don't think she would do that...she knows what would happen. If you start crying I'll take you to the bathroom and we can stay there as long as you ******** need to, even if we both miss class. I think your mom was just....emotional.

the silver fire
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mavi_raya16
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Commented on: Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 01:17am


	Well, we're okay now........so I don't think she well. Yay!! Oh my god!! When Claire, Zeta, SamE, and I were walking...two things happened: 1. We saw this poor small old man going away in an ambulance!! IT was SO sad!! Claire looked really sad and SamE just looked plain shocked and traumatized. I don't know what I looked like, but Zeta was going around in circles trying to figure out what we were looking at. 2. We were really late and we were seriously considering just ditching school........but in the end, we decided not to.

Commented on: Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 02:28am


	zoe i dont care if you complain, dont you understand you ******** have maya the only thing in your way is her mom but when has that ever stopped you??!?!? the fact is zoe you have someone who loves you your smart and a lot going for you dont you see that??

My Shirt Is Not Vintage
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My Shirt Is Not Vintage
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Commented on: Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 02:30am


	ok i take back what i said i think that your love will get you through this no matter what

Commented on: Wed Feb 28, 2007 @ 02:47am


	laughs Oh Jessie, you are slightly hopeless...that's okay. Thank you for your support! And I damn well agree! 1. I laughed at what you said about Zeta....but that poor man!! Aww, that's so sad. I hope he is okay. 2. YESSSSSS!!! Finally! My evil plan is working!! Guess what? Today, when you were depressed and I was depressed, I thought that maybe we should ditch tomorrow. Our parents wouldn't ever know because we'd tell our teachers we were going to miss their classes cause we had to go to dentist appointments or whatever, and then we'd just ditch after like, first period. But then we were happy again so I decided we could save the ditching for another day. I think I seriously would ditch school if I could get away with it and if I had someone to be with, though. whee

the silver fire
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