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1. You wake up face down on the pavement.

2.You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.

3.You see a "60 Minutes" news team waiting in your office.

4.Your birthday cake collapses from the sheer weight of the candles.

5.You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.

6.You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city.

7.Your twin sister forgot your birthday.

8.Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.

9.The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.

10.You wake up and your braces are locked together.

11.Your blind date turns out to be your ex-significant other.

12.Your income tax check bounces.

13.You put both contact lenses in the same eye.

14.Your pet rock snaps at you.

Author unknown...but troubled

ninja