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I don't kno whats going on with me... my head is messing with me more than usual... i've been taking things out on Frank... i don't know why... i don't want to... but i can't handle how i'm feeling... in my head its saying "stay away from everyone...you'll just hurt them." thats the last thing i want. i'm afraid i already have. i keep crying... i feel weak mentally and everything... my head isn't with it at all... it scares me actually... as stupid as it sounds... it sounds EMO yes...EMO...
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((yes i'm tired and rambling))
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old thoughts keep creeping up on me about different things and i don't want to relive them over and over again but my head seems to not care about what i want... i've been trying to keep my mind busy with other things like fishing, knitting and drawing...and photoshop stuff but everything lands up making me feel like i failed and then i think about some of the members in my family calling me a failure...
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((i don't know why i'm writting this here... i really don't... i don't really think it matters))
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yes this journal is plain rambling but i just need to let it out without saying it... wow this doesn't make sence...but thats how it is in my head...blah. anyways i think i need to laydown and try to get some sleep...if possible i'd like to not wake up until late... but i doubt my mom will allow that.
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((sorry if my journals worry you or making you feel like you did something... everything i feel is my own fault))
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anywho, i'm off to finish what i'm doing then going to laydown with my kitties... night...and if you read this sorry if i have confused you or anything or that nature
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