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Dragon Daze
(used to be Vice-Versa) Ryan thinks he's a normal kid, but then his adoptive parents die and he's shipped off to live with a grandfather he's never met. And then there's his new high school, where no one is quite human. (Check archive for first chap)
Chapter one, Part one. (edited) My first entry
thought I should make an entry. I really don't like P.E. and health but love band. I've finally figured out how to navigate gaia towns, too. I'm hoping to get a feedable pet, a dragon named Galbreath. I should get a reply in the next couple days.


CH 1 P1

Kira Longclaw glanced around the small village square, then silently pointed at the fruit she wished to buy.

“That’ll be 20 siul,” The vendor handed her the fruit, then held out his hand for payment.

Kira dug in her small purse, then held out 4 silver coins. She took the fruit and put it into a white bag and turned to leave. Just then, a strong gust blew off the thick hood of her cloak, revealing her face. Kira frantically pulled her hood backdown over her face, but not before the man at the fruit stall reconized her.

“It’s the demon girl!” he yelled.

All the other village men turned to look, then picked up their farming tools and ran at her. Kira turned and ran for the sheltering trees at the edge of the village, her long white cloak fanning out behind her and the bag of fruit swinging at her side. Behind her, all the village’s able men followed, brandishing their farming tools as weapons. The man in the lead spurred on the men like a military sergeant a long, sharp hoe in his hands. She looked back at the men pursuing her. Quite suddenly, Kira tripped over a large rock she probably would’ve seen had she had been looking ahead. The villager’s eyes gleamed with malice, thinking they finally had the chance to kill the girl. Kira scrambled to her feet and ripped off her cloak so she could spread her leathery red wings, but one man swung his grass-cutting sycths and caught her in the wing.

“Aaagh!” Kira’s cry of pain turned into a dragonish roar as flame spewed out her mouth, driving back the frightened villagers and giving her a chance to jerkily run into the cover of the thick woods that bordered the village.







User Comments: [5] [add]
exdraghunt
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Apr 29, 2007 @ 04:30am
This is MY story that i wrote. I made up the characters and plot-line. Please, give me some input about what you think would make the story better.


commentCommented on: Fri Jun 29, 2007 @ 06:58pm
It's a really great story, but if we went back and looked at how she had been discovered then maybe we'd understand it better. But so far I actually like it. It spikes my interest. biggrin



Silent Sango
Community Member
Izayoi Notama
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Sep 23, 2007 @ 04:17am
It's wonderful! I love it! But It would be nice if we DID know why the villagers hate her, and such.


commentCommented on: Mon Oct 08, 2007 @ 11:26pm
it's like the pendragon books to be,i can't stop reading it,please write more,it would be cool if you added moondust into it xd but it's your choice biggrin



dragonridermoondust
Community Member
Tyche Nitely
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu May 21, 2009 @ 07:17pm
May I offer these suggestions to your finely craft tale:
....In the shadows, she found allies;
.....they scheme to aid her and foil her tormentors.
..She can have a beloved,(say'?' a blind bard, a seaoned traveler who knows her gentler side)whereas she's aided by her 'Natural' hence undiscovered talent,i.e.(the voice she uses to beguile those who might be violent, thus make lambs of wolves)....
I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
Keep Up The Good Work!


User Comments: [5] [add]
 
 
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