So its been a long time since my last entry, and a LOT has happened.
I was in love with someone, and she left me.
I'm still amazingly heartbroken, and I thought that I could easily get over her. I usually just bounce back from relationships that end, but being with her for a year, and having her leave me, I just died. It hurt SO much. I was having problems with her, so I came to the Life Issues section of the General Discussion for advice. A lot of the users provided useful advice that I put towards fixing things. I guess the advice wasn't all I needed. We went on and off for about a week or two longer, then we officially broke up last wednesday.
I couldn't help but cry. I'm still crying inside. The pain is so immense, the sorrow is so deep, and the sadness has consumed me. I took today in stride, but it was generally just a bad day. I woke up because my mom yelled at me about calling Fry's back to set up my training stuff, but then as I went to go back to sleep, Ann sends me a text about a picture comment I left on a friend's (Who is a girl I used to like) myspace picture. She was jealous, and had no reason to be.
So basically I spent the day on gaia. To clear my mind, and to try to just have a little fun. Then my brother kept pestering me about letting him use the computer. I hate it. I'm enjoying myself for the one time I actually decide to spend longer than 10 minutes on the computer, and someone jumps down my throat.
So basically, I got off, and started to think about Ann. Nothing BUT Ann. I couldn't get her off my mind. I was crushing hard, and I knew I couldn't, I shouldn't. So I slowly died a little more inside. I've been keeping an actual paper and pen journal about all this, and it helps to relieve the stress, but not enough. She's all I think of, she's all I dream of, she's all I want, she's all I need. But she doesn't feel the same anymore, and it kills me because this is the first MAJOR heartache and breakup I've been through, all the others were small, and I didn't realize until now what true love was. I realized it too late, and it took Ann leaving to show me that.
So today was generally a bad day, but maybe tomorrow will hold something better in store for me.
I don't want Ann to leave to Conneticut, but she needs this vacation more than anything else in the world, and I think maybe it will help to alleviate a lot of the stress she has, and possibly clear her mind up about me and her, and maybe she'll realize she's throwing away a year of her life and that she's giving up on someone who wanted to spend the rest of his life proving that he loved her and cared more for her than anyone else could.
Here's to optimism. I hope she does all that. ^^
Signing off for now. 3nodding
Ryojiin Community Member 
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