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Don't you just hate it when you live in a fantasy land and suddenly get taken out of it?

I mean, hope? What the hell was I thinking. There is no hope. Never. I ruined my own life and I have to deal with it IN THE REAL WORLD. No more hiding in a ******** fantasy world, its pointless.

Every person I like, already has a girlfriend. No wonder, they're interesting people. Even the one person I love has someone else. And shes a bloody b***h.

How in the hell am I to find someone that can compare, or even surpass what I had? Simple, I can't. I want to, I find someone interesting, and BAM they're already taken.

I've also been thrusted into the world of human contact again. No other guy besides John has ever touched me (not in that way, perverts) and all of a sudden someone else touches me. It scared the s**t out of me to be quite honest. I just covered it up with stupid giggling. I don't know why I do that...people might get the wrong idea.

I don't know what I am to do anymore. I want someone to love me again. I dont want to feel this pain anymore. They don't even have to love me, I just want someone to be with me. (Not in a sexual way of course. I can't stand the thought of sex. It brings me too much pain) No one will ever like me. I'm not likeable.

How do I even go about on finding a boyfriend anyway? Raymond got lucky twice and found his supposed true love online. I think shes a bloody hack. <3

I'll probably take everyone up on their plan and live the way I was meant to. Alone, and travelling across the world.

No time for romance, besides, there is no such thing as romance. Just pain.

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