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At least I know you're lonely for now.
It gives me some comfort to know that you understand how I feel. But you, being the spoiled brat that you are, will get what you want sooner than I will.
You, the whiny boy who gets suicidal because your "love" is not there to kiss your a** has no right to get upset. You have no idea what love is. You don't suddenly say you love someone with your entire heart.
To love someone is to grow. As a human being, and as an individual. Love that hits you like a ton of bricks will not last that long. I grew to love you, Raymond. It took me a year to have serious feelings for you. And it took the other two to have them grow. You don't just love someone off the bat. Thats infactuation. I was infactuated with you, then fell out of love with you, then grew to love you. For who you were. I had accepted all of your faults, and your stupid habits. I grew to love them.
Now I dislike them, and see what others have been seeing for years.
My best advice for you is to go home to your family and learn what it is to love. Alone. Truly alone. Grow up first and realize that things will never happen the way you want them to. It took jailtime for me to see that, and all my other mistakes. You could not accept me for them, and accept the fact that I never wanted to lay a hand on anyone again. You ran off and played the victim card, when you sir were just as abusive as I was. You fail to apologize for the pain you've caused me all those years. Since you see it as not your fault, well open your eyes and see it. It is.
You broke my heart, and you don't care. You're just a silly kid thats going to get his sooner or later, and if you come to me asking for help, I don't know what I'd do. I still worry about you, and care about you deeply. But why should I when those feelings are not returned? - I shouldn't.
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