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Monkey Airplane Soldier
Be kind, please rewind.
More about Isabella!
Here's the next, shorter section of the Isabelle Creour story....please enjoy and COMMENT!!! Thank you!
Also, I don't know if this bit is as good as the other part....we'll see what happens....

“Hurry up!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming! What’s the rush?” I hurry around my room irritably, shoving clothes unceremoniously into my suitcase. My mother rushes around with me, gathering more of my belongings, although it seems more as though she is just pacing.
“You have to get out of here before the Felixus figure out where you are.”
“That’d be coming for me so soon?”
“Our information tells us they just recently discovered the possibility that either you or one of your brothers possesses Delir. They’ve no doubt ruled out Demetrius, because when he killed Emett he used only ordinary human weapons and no powers, but that means they’re probably headed here for either you or Miles.” She wrings her hands.
“Are you sending Miles away, too? Can he come to school with me?” My hopes are high that perhaps I won’t be completely alone in this new school. I don’t have to worry much about leaving friends behind, for I’ve never had that many here in town because of the rumors about my family, but it doesn’t mean I want to go live someplace else.
“He’s going to live with your uncle Rellus.”
“Well, why I can’t I go live there?” I stop packing for a moment and face her. “Why must you send me so far away from home?”
She pauses, looking uncomfortable. “Isabelle…I’m sorry…”
I know she has little more to say. I want an explanation. I want to know why she wants me so far away, why I have to start all over on my own while Miles, living only in the next town, can still be near to familiar surroundings. It’s not fair is what it is, it’s not decent or reasonable! I’ve done nothing wrong, yet now I’m pushed off, hardly knowing where I’m even headed. “I don’t care if you’re sorry. I don’t want to go,” I say suddenly.
She watches me. She doesn’t know what to say. We don’t often sit down to talk with one another, but even without regular communication, I know her well enough that I can tell she just wishes I would stop making this hard for her.
I shake my head. “It’s just easier for you. It’s just easier than having to take care of me yourself, isn’t it? Isn’t it?” I fling a pair of pants on the ground in anger. “You just don’t want me here because if the Felixus’s come, you’ll be dead too! You’re protecting yourself! You know how safe father’s mansion is, I could stay here if I wanted to-”
“No!” She yells.
My mother raising her voice is enough to quiet me down. She rarely yells.
She is quivering slightly, standing there by my dresser. “You must go. Don’t make the mistake of thinking it is for my own selfish reasons, Isabelle. You must go to keep yourself out of danger.” She takes a small breath. “You don’t understand what the Felixus’s would do if they found you.”
We stand there for a long moment, me watching her, her watching me. I can either stop now or I can make this harder for her. I know either way I’ll end up being sent off.
I silently pick up my pants from the floor and start packing. Here’s the part where the most I can do is hope for the best.






User Comments: [6] [add]
galattagirlQT
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Tue Apr 24, 2007 @ 11:23pm
Hey, dude!! I really like it! The verbs you use sound like some of mine....like "unceremoniously"...or maybe I'm just imagining it. I like the description of the mom. Isabelle is a very realistic character with the way she thinks and talks, it's not like those overly annoying perfect characters...I love it so far...don't forget to write more!!


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 25, 2007 @ 01:13am
I like this part better than the last. She seems like a real person, someone I can relate to. I really like the story write more!! It is great!!



My Shirt Is Not Vintage
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the silver fire
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 25, 2007 @ 02:15am
Thank you guys, you're both really sweet! I'll write more....I need to figure out what I want the next scene to be. Haha, scene. It feels like I'm writing a more interesting version of a movie script. xd
Did someone say movie?
*idea creeps into mind....*


commentCommented on: Wed Apr 25, 2007 @ 02:46am
Once again the detail in this part produce a clear picture in my mind of what is happening. I really like it. The relationship between Isabella and her mom is very interesting. I like it. Because you don't make the emotions totally outrageous. It's so real. Misunderstood teens...........aren't we all?

I definately think the next scene should be her at the train station, but don't just cut to the train station. Maybe she can be standing on the platform thinking about how she got there. I mean, she has to be highly cautious, so how did she get there without getting in any trouble with the Felixus? And like we were talking about on the phone, she shouldn't meet her potential girlfriend yet. She should run into some rather bitchy people first, then meet the girl on the train who resembles Luna Lovegood. Can't wait to read more!



Captain Dandy ^.~
Community Member
the silver fire
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commentCommented on: Wed Apr 25, 2007 @ 02:49am
Thank you for the suggestions SO MUCH, I really appreciate it more than you know! A little guidance is good.
I agree, I think I need to address how she must have gotten there. She's in danger every second until she can get to the school. Maybe the headmaster took her, because he obviously possesses Delir and could maybe have shielded their vehicle from detection as they left without telling anyone....ooh....
Plus then there'd be the little sadness inside her that she didn't get to say bye to her brother Miles.
Thanks!


commentCommented on: Thu Apr 26, 2007 @ 12:49am
I wrote more Isabella....
There are some parts I don't know how I like them, like I'm unsure if the formation of this new character, Ellie, is good yet....
Should I post it?



the silver fire
Community Member
User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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