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I had a good weekend for the most part. Though I have to say this has been one of the most straining emotionally.

Its getting so hard to keep the urge under control. I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I really don't. But the urge gets to the point where I'll find a piece of paper and try to give myself a papercut. I always do something wrong, and its just something inside me that makes me want to punish myself for my wrongs.

I never seem to say the right thing, or even act right. I want to loosen up and be normal, but my body refuses to lighten up. I have no confidence in my abilities, let alone appearance. I'm the ignored person in the back.

"Nice body, ugly face"

I've been quoting too much Pablo Francisco lately. *shrugs*

I still had a good time. Its just my emotions got in the way again. I really need to talk to someone about it. John is probably tired of me saying the same things over and over... but no one else is really willing to listen to my pathetic feelings.

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