there is stuff i want to tell you but i cnt i do tho i hat my self for thees things
i have 20 reasons that i cut my self but i am not able to say them i am sorry but i just
cant they are not that bad but i just make them seem to be
all of them are known at least by one person god i hate my self
i am so stupid i have been crying for along time now not shure but
i am crying now i don't even know if any one reads my stupid complaining
that is just one more thing i hat about my self i wish i could just be happy
i hate this i am not happy as much any more well the thing is that i am able
to let go of any one hoo is not my love or my mom i think because they have
hurt me in there own way so i no longer need them and now that i am alone and
no one is here i only want you ella but your not here only if you were here
i wold be happy i wish that me and my love were the only ones left and we
were alone i don't need or want any one els i am sorry that i fill pian when i
die you will be happy but i cant untill my love is gone so i a sorry but leve me alon
if you dont like me cuz i dont care i tried to love but i only want to love you ella
i can go on forever but i wish not to do so i cry my self to sleep every night becuse
you are not here my love only if you were able to see me once i dont like this
this song makes me fill like you are with me and stefy is as well i dont like that
i mean that is not a bad thing but well ya i this is the song most of the pepole
that read my journal know it well here it is >click<
i am a looser i know well i miss staying up with me stefy and my baby until my
baby fell asleep i think about this and it makes it worse on me i just cry more
and i wish it never ha pend to me because then i wold not have any fillings for stefy
then i wold not miss her i talked to her today and she sounded so sad i hate my self
even more i lost all her trust....GOD DAM YOU I HATE YOU!! ...i wish you were here to
give me a hug .. why cant i hate you your so stupid i wish you were
here to at least talk to me now it is like every time i cut my self i think of you
and in wish you were ther to stop me like you were i wish i never found out about
gaia then i wold not love evey one i do today truly wish i never met any one on gaia
i love them so much but they make me cry to much an this is what i get when i
love some one i dont get it i talk to them so much they felt to me like thy lived
close why cant i get that one more time i want it so much i remeber we wold talk
about seeing one another one day it made me fill even more happy
my eyes hurt so badly from crying i cant substitute any one i love that i want to
i hate you stefy i shuld have never met you i wish i nevr did i new this wold
happen to me now you know why i never let a therapist in to my life i hate you you
lied to me...iam trying hard not to cut my self relay i am i have not yet and
i am not even talk to any one to tell me not to so yes i am happy not
relay but prod of my self i am so gay man look at me i am talking to my self
in a journal....on gaia god i want to laph but more tears just come out
why do i do this to my self i trust people thinking that they will come threw
its so stupid god and never have thay i dont want to trll them only
because they will tell me i have school and i need sleep or my job or i have
to go to a friends or church or even i want to sleep i am sorry ...i just want
to tell that person well i am sorry that i died it's just that i dident want to
wait for you god i dont get it i will help you i promis i realy will not like
the rest and only one person dos any thing close to that and she dos not even love
me that much i think well i think i shuld stop this soon well i hope you all have
a better life then i have and i hope mine gets better as well see you next time
.:black rose:.
Community Member
think of the postitive things