well im don't even know why i right in this any more, maybe i feel its i need it to be in a text format instead of all these thoughts rolling around in my head, they say its bad for your health to keep things bottled inside, but wouldn't you think that letting all your emotions out would be bad too. maybe....maybe thats why im losing some of my closest friends. or maybe they have just grown up and im left behind....is it because im childish, is it because im perverted, is it because i don't know when to shut my damn mouth, is it because im too kind, to nice, or is it because im to damn thoughtful. maybe i should take their lead. maybe i should become cold too. would that make me their friend again? or will it just make me the bigest a*****e in the universe and i'll lose the rest of my friends. maybe im just and emotional lump of useless ugliness, taht people think"gah who is this guy, what the hell is he going on about? i don't know but hes so pitiful" am i pitiful...maybe its because im on a social networking site meeting people across the country and realizing that "hey why the hell am i friends with these people, so what we have stuff in common," how cares anymore, this site getting full of people who don't care, and heartless emos who are so full of themselves to realize what their doing so so stupid. maybe its because i've had my take of cutters, GET AL LIFE cutting yourself isn't going to help, it doesn't look cool either. think about life down the road you little ungrateful s***s your going to look at that scar when you older and think why the hell did i do this, now i have all these damn scars and can;t do a damn thing about....you know what the only thing im grateful for gaia right now is i met my girlfriend here. so i don;t care what you say i don't care that we live nearly halfway across the country from each other, but she makes me happy. as for the rest of gaia, its going to hell in a hand basket full of grenades, gaia is selling out. okay now i know some one is going to call me a hypocrite because im still on here. but thats because i want to remain friends with the few people who arn;t leaving me. but hell who am i going to have when they leave me......so today journal that i so seldomly write in, this journal that no one cares about, that no one reads....today was my worst day ever
 the internal darkness · Tue Feb 09, 2010 @ 05:49am · 0 Comments |
