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it's not denial...i'm just selective about the reality i accept... ...poems...songs...notes...plans...mental break throughs and break downs of my life...or lack there of...


twilight_pryncess_bella
Community Member
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The Poems You Never Saw
November 16, 2008

the one time acting ability doesn't matter
i
can
hide
my
pain
i
can
mask it
from the
world
i
can
make
it
invisible
to
everyone
everyone
but
you
i don't
want
to
hide
from you
i don't
want to
keep up
this
mask
i
can't
remain
completely
invisible
in
those
dark
brooding
eyes
for
some
stupid
unknown
reason
you're
the
only one
who
matters
even if
you
don't
give a
damn
i
still care
what
you
think
my
mind
is
only
concerned
with
thoughts
centered
around
you
you
have
some
power
over me
that
no one
not even
me
understands
why
can't
you
see
this?
why
can't
you
understand
this?
i
really
desperately
need
you
even if
you
don't
want
me
maybe
what
you
don't
want
is
to
be
cruelly
hurt
but
really
just
trust
me
that's not
wgat
i
want
for you


there's a reason i won't go near you
what's wrong?
what are you afraid of?
are you afraid of falling
or that no one will catch you?

the problem with falling
falling in love specifically
is that if your love isn't true
they won't catch you

is that what you think
would happen to you
if you let go of your control
and fell with me?

trust me
i'm not that kind of person
and even if i didn't like you
i would still catch you
i don't care
if we have a certain relationship
i just want one with you
friends or more or whatever

cuz my problem
isn't if i can catch you when you fall
it's are you ever gonna catch me
while i'm falling for you?

...guess not...



painless

i love those eyes
so dark so deep
but i can't see anything
because your'e hiding
why do you hide?
why do you pretend?
is it a reason like mine:
keep on a fake act
to please everyone else
and shield yourself
from any pain?
i don't want you
to ever be hurt
or feel hurt
by me or anyone else
in any way
that's what happens
when people care about you
they just accept you
and every facade you offer
i just want you
to feel real
i don't want you to hide
anymore
because it's too painful to watch
and it's probably
more painful to do
is there anything
i can do to help?
i really want to help you
you have to let
somebody love you


guard dog
i feel
so empty
so devoid
of emotion

i don't know
what to do
i can't comprehend
can't solve this

i want some help
but what i need
is to push it
away and spare others

this case is my cross
i have to bear it
alone and learn to make
sacrifices for my loved ones

i don't want them to suffer
anymore because of my selfishness
so i have to save them
by hiding the pain this caused

maybe if i act like it's OK
they won't feel the need to help
this helpless case that is my life
and carry this heavy cross in solidarity


if only you knew...
with tail between your legs
you constantly run away
for a moment you let your guard down
i catch a glimpse of a heart of gold

what goes on in your mind?
won't you tell?
can't you speak the truth
when it's just me and you alone?

don't you trust me?
i suppose you don't
and i have no right to expect you to
cuz if i'm right....

i don't deserve your trust
i deserve your scorn
but i'll never lie to you
i'll never betray you

i'm keeping my promise
i'm keeping it between us
the only ones who know
and this is the only way i can say it

i'll do my best
to protect you if i can
even if it costs me myself
but you're more important

i don't care
if maybe the truth
is what you said
if the truth is NO

the punchline is
i care about you
even if you don't care about me
and that's it





 
 
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