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School tracking has ******** my a** over big time.
Elementary school was a breeze, then middle school was so easy I was bored. Reason? I was tracked into the wrong group. How did this happen? A less privileged child was randomly put in a lower "group" than she shouldve been. After grade 6, they should have moved me up, right? Wrong. I wasnt ready for advanced courses, according to my mentally blurred guidance councileor, and was sent to a camp called Horizons for one week in the summer. What does this mean? "Were sorry we screwed up because you obviously belong in another group, but were too lazy to fix it, so were sending you to science camp." Meanwhile, im in lower tracking groups all the way through middle school, and by the time I get to 9th grade, Im flying high with my GPA, even pulling a 98 on the Global Studies state test at the end of the year. "Eleventh grade will be a nice challenge, right? Lets see if she can do that. Wait, what was that? Chemistry with Ms. Gore? Sure." Everything would be fine, right? Wrong. Essentially I suffered a mental breakdown because for once, not everything was easy, and noone would help unless it had to do with applying to colleges. I spiraled into depression and anxiety, taking 3 medications for nearly a year to help supress the paranoid thoughts. It worked, but thats a year Ill never get back. I missed out on volleyball, music, and most importantly, living life. My weight plummeted, and my eyes were sunken from crying myself to sleep, believing I was a failure. At one point, while I stared glazed-eyed at the tv screen, watching god knows what, mom told me to quit school, at the end of her rope.
After I got help from therapy, friends, and family, and got off the three medications, i happily walked across the stage at graduation. I graduated 6th in my class overall, and sang "Defying Gravity" for a speech. Im now in a community college, and looking to transfer to a 4 year school next semester to either become a second-grade teacher, or a writer.
So ******** school tracking, i kicked your a**.
smile