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Thoughts of the Mind Online blogs about what occurs in my mind.

I R Lilli
Community Member
Ah, it's been a long time since I've looked at my Journal on here.. There really isn't anything to look at but myself in the past, ranting about prices in the marketplace and skeletons..
What a strange thing it is, to read what you wrote days, weeks, months, or even years ago. It makes you think about how much you have honestly changed. Some of those changes could have included what you thought was right and wrong, or what makes something worth the time. Currently, I'm turning 16 in October and I already feel that I have aged by 20 years, making me 35. -.-;
Predicting how high school was going to be like was one thing, but actually going through a semester and a little addition of a few weeks, it's a completely different thing.
I've met many people of all ages in my high school, and some are the same while others have caught my attention. I've made new friends and I've met people who don't really like me, and in return I show indifference to them. What good does it do if all you feel is an equal distaste towards them? I know for a fact it doesn't do anything. I was a pretty mean kid when I was in the early stages of growing up. Maybe I thought life was a harsh, cold, quiet thing.
In fact, in the last 2 years, I have learned something entirely different. For a fact, the thing we call life is something completely different. I know that y'all are probably thinking "How BLIND can you honestly be to everything around you?!" And I'm sorry, I am infact in need of wearing my glasses more frequently.
My life has been full of ups and downs, more downs then the ups. I keep finding ways to go up, then I suddenly hit reality and let myself be submerged in it. It's a sad thing, the more I think about it. Recently, one of my closest and I'd like to say best friends got arrested. He was doing some illegal things apparently and dealing to a 13 year old kid is not one of the brightest ideas he has ever come up with. While as some people could argue he never had a mind or an idea, that he has just been stupid his whole life. That is NOT TRUE. The boy I knew was pretty darn happy with how he was living, but there is the possibility he was always high and never really realized the sadness in the days. I can't really say what he was or wasn't at the time, but I can say he's an amazing person at heart and has simply turned his back on what is morally right.
It's hard for me to accept the fact that he is not here anymore. Usually, my phone would go off if I wasn't talking on the bus, or if I looked tired and worn out. He'd notice these small things, and make sure I was alright. What breaks my heart is that his younger brother, Jonny, said that my Anthony would always speak of me. He thought that Anthony really liked me, seeing as how he always wanted to be around me or to talk to me. I really do miss him. I hope I see him again.
Life, of course, is full of suprises and dissapointments. We really can't demand what we want. This isn't a BK or another fast-food resturant where we can request what we want in/on our meal. That meal would be our life, so to speak.

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