Q: How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
A: It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown costume!
Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Q: What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib?
A: A ***** a**!!
Q: How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles ?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.
Q: What do a dead baby and a horse have in common?
A: After you ride them your always sore.
Q: What is red & yellow & screams?
A: A peeled baby in lemon juice.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
Q: What's black and blue and doesn't like sex ?
A: The dead babies in my closet.
Q: What is the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies?
A: You can't unload a truckload of bowling balls with a pitch fork!
Q: Why do you stick a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you can see the expression on its face!
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: Take your foot off of it's head.
Q: What's the difference between a baby & a watermelon?
A: One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer & the other is a watermelon.
Q: What's blue and thrashes about on the floor?
A: A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Q: What is the worst thing about ******** a dead baby?
A: Wiping the blood stains off of your clown suit!
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
A: Art.
Q: What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
A: You can't gargle gravel.
Q: What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
A: Nailing it to a dead puppy!
Q: What do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
A: ********.
Q: What's red and dances all around?
A: A baby on a barbecue.
Q: How do you make a baby walk?
A: Cut off its hands.
Q: Why is it so hard to play with dead babies?
A: The parts keep coming off.
Q: What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
A: An erection.
Q: What is the best part of having sex with a baby?
A: Either way you go is deep throat.
Q: What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A: A baby in a trash compactor.
Q: How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
A: The dog plays with it more.
Q: Whats the difference between a dead baby and a rock?
A: You cant ******** a rock!
Q: What does a baby do in a microwave?
A: I don't know i was too busy masturbating!
Q: How do you get 10 babies into a bowl?
A: With a blender!
Q: How do you get them out again?
A: With tortilla chips!!!
Q: What's present do you get for a dead baby?
A: A dead puppy.
Q: Whats harder then nailing a baby to a fence?
A: My d**k while im doing it.
Q: What is charred black and screams?
A: A baby getting his toy out of the fireplace!
Q: What does a dead baby and a jar of ketcup have in common?
A: If you squeez them hard enough red stuff comes out.
Q: What is the Diffrence between a dead baby and my Christmas Presents?
A: I havent opened my presents to see whats inside!
Q: How do you save a baby from drowning?
A: Harpoon it.
Q: What is black, white, and red all over?
A: A zombie baby eating a nun.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool?
A: Bob.
Q: What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
A: Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
Q: What do you call a bunch of retarted babies in a bathtub?
A: Vegetable stew!
Q: What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
A: Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
A: Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
Q: What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas?
A: Cancer.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
A: When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Q: Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
A: Because they're hand made.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
A: The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Q: What's red and goes round and round?
A: A baby in a garbage disposal.
Q: What's the best thing about a Siamese twin baby?
A: Threesomes.
Q: What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin?
A: A Big Mac.
Q: What's brown and gurgles?
A: A baby in a casserole.
Q: What is better than a dead baby?
A: The revoked child-support.
Q: What do you call a baby on a stick?
A: A Kebabie.
Q: What is pink and red and sits in a corner?
A: A baby chewing on razor blades.
Q: What is the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A: A watermelon floats.
Q: What is red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A: A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
Q: What is the difference between a lamp and a dead baby?
A: It's really easy to turn on a lamp.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch?
A: Matt.
Q: Why do babies have a soft spot in their heads?
A: So you can pick them up five at a time.
Q: How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
A: Stick a javelin through it's head.
Q: What is blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A: A baby with a punctured lung.
Q: What's 18 inches long, pink, hard and makes women scream at night?
A: Crib death.
Q: What have you got when you strap a dead baby to each foot?
A: Slippers.
Q: What is blue and sits in the corner?
A: A baby in a plastic bag.
Q: What is green and sits in a corner?
A: The same baby, six weeks later.
Q: What is red and swings back and forth?
A: A baby on a meat hook.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: A tall glass of Fresca and two scoops of dead baby.
Q: When a baby is being born, why do they boil water?
A: So that if its born dead they can make soup.
Q: What is red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A: A baby in a microwave.
Q: What is blue and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: A baby with slashed floaties.
Q: What is green-black and yellow and found at the bottom of a pool?
A: The same baby three weeks later.
Q: What is red and yellow and floats on top of the pool?
A: Floaties with a slashed baby.
Q: What is black and sits in a corner?
A: A baby with it's finger in an electric socket.
Q: What squeals and goes around at 100mph?
A: A baby in an electric fan.
Q: What is blue and knocks on glass?
A: A baby in a fishtank.
Q: What is charred black and smells really bad?
A: A baby chewing on an extension cord.
Q: What has 4 legs and one arm?
A: A Doberman on a children's playground!
Q: What do you do with 4 dead babies and a sheet of glass?
A: Make a coffee table.
Q: What is worse than running a baby over with a car?
A: Getting it out of the tires.
Q: What have you got when you pile four dead babies on top of each other?
A: A stool.
Q: What's red, sits in the front of mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.
Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as it takes to make a pile high enough to reach the light bulb with.
Q: How do you stop a baby from looking up at you with that cute little baby face
and gurgling happily with that little baby mouth and waving at you with those little
baby fingers and little baby toes?
A: Gouge its eyes out.
Q: Why is it so groovy to be a test tube baby?
A: Because you get a womb with a view.
Q: What is a sure way to stop a baby from crying?
A: With an axe.
Q: What's better than tying babies to your bumper and crashing?
A: Tying them to your tires and skidding.
Q: What is brown and keeps it's juices in?
A: A baby in an oven bag.
Q: How do you spoil a baby?
A: Leave it out in the sun.
Q: What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
A: Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Q: What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman?
A: A baby with a black eye!
Q: What is white and red and hangs from a telephone wire?
A: A baby shot through a snowblower.
Q: What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby's jaw?
A: Deep Throat.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
A: Because he was dead!
Q: What does a baby and a Pinto have in common?
A: They are fun to ride until they die.
Q: What is blue and bloated and floating in your beer?
A: A dead baby with fetal alcohol syndrome!
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
A: The dead baby won't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Q: What is Baskin Robin's flavor of the month this month?
A: Blue Baby Cheesecake.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend?
A: I don't kiss my girlfriend after sex.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple?
A: You don't have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on a beach?
A: Sandy.
Q: Why did the baby fall off the swing?
A: Because it had no arms or legs.
Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road?
A: Because it was chained to a bumper.
Q: What is the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
A: I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Q: How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
A: 4 1/2.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
A: You don't get second looks when you're writing with a felt tip marker!
Q: What is red and creeps up your leg?
A: A homesick abortion.
Q: What is the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A: A watermelon floats.
Q: What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A: A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Q: What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life
A: You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Q: What is worse than smoking pot with a baby?
A: Making a bong out of it.
Q: What is the safest way to play with a baby ?
A: With a condom.
Q: What is small, and red, and full of holes?
A: A baby on a bed of nails.
Q: What do you call a 30week-old preemie?
A: An Appetizer.
Q: What has four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A: A bus load of babies on fire.
Q: What wiggles spits and is covered in s**t?
A: An inside out baby!
Q: When is the best time to bury that baby you killed?
A: When it starts talking to you again.
Q: What happens when you burn baby's face off?
A: It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.
Q: What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
A: Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
A: You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Q: How do you make a baby cry twice?
A: Wipe your bloody c**k on his teddy bear.
Q: What is the best sound in the world?
A: Hearing dead baby's hips crack under pressure!
Q: What's more fun then spinning a baby on a cloths line at 200 miles per hour?
A: Stopping it with a shovel.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with its skin peeled off?
A: Sexy.
Q: Why did the toddler drop it's lollipop?
A: It was hit by a truck.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
A: The refrigerator doesn't scream when you stick your meat in it.
Q: What is bright blue, pink, and sizzles?
A: A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.
Q: What is the difference between a dead baby and a cheeseburger?
A: I don't ******** a cheeseburger before I eat it.
Q: What do you call a dead baby with its arms and legs chopped off bleeding all over your kitchen table?
A: Dinner.
Q: What is the difference between a baby and a dart-board?
A: Dart-boards don't bleed.
Q: How do make sure a babies dead?
A: You check to make sure its not pink in the middle after you take it off the grill.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and my slippers?
A: I won't let my dog chew on my slippers
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead chicken?
A: You don't have to deal with all the feathers before you cook it.
Q: Why do babies cry at night?
A: Their a** still hurts from the afternoon.
Q: What's the difference between a baby and a speed bump?
A: I slow down for speed bumps.
Q: What is the difference between a baby and a mars bar?
A: About 500 calories. rofl
I LIKE PANCAKES
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