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Hilarious parts of Slash's autobiography (or at least I think so...)

"Other classes, meanwhile, didn't go so well for me. There was one teacher who chose to make an example of me once when I fell asleep on my desk. I had an evening job at the time at the local movie theater, so I could have been tired; it's more likely that I was just bored out of my mind, because the class was social studies. From what I understand, the teacher stopped everything to discuss the concept of stereotype with the class. He noted my long hair and the fact that I was asleep and, illustrating the meaning of the word stereotype, he concluded that I was a rock musician who probably had no greater aspirations in life than playing very loud music. He then woke me up and asked me a few pointed questions.
'So I take it you're probably a musician, right?' he asked. 'What do you play?'
'I play guitar,' I said.
'What kind of music do you play?'
'Rock and roll, I guess.'
'Is it loud?'
'Yeah, it's pretty loud.'
'Notice, class, this young man is the perfect example of a stereotype.'
I am always grumpy when I first wake up, so this was more than I was willing to take, I got up, walked to the front of the class, flipped his desk over, and left. That incident, combined with a prior weed bust, spelled the end of my career at Fairfax High."

"Axl and Steven would do anything not to work a regular job, so they got by on the street, or via their girlfriends' handouts. Though, as I recall, on occasion Axl and I gook jobs together as extras on movie sets. We were in a few crowd shots at the L.A. Sports Arena for a Michael Keaton movie called Touch and Go where he played a hockey player. We didn't care as much for the camera time as we did getting fed and making money for doing nothing: we'd show up in the morning, get our meal ticket, then find somewhere to sleep behind the bleachers where we wouldn't be found. We'd wake up when they called for lunch to eat with the rest of the crowd, then sleep until it was time to clock out and collect our hundred-dollar check.
I liked being the industry's least industrious extra as often as possible: I found absolutely nothing wrong with free lunch and an afternoon of being paid to sleep. I looked forward to the same when I was scouted by a casting director for the film Sid and Nancy. Unbeknownst to any of us, the same casing director in various locals, scouted every single member of Guns N' Roses individually. All of us showed up to the first day of casting, like, 'Hey ... what are you doing here?'
It wasn't much fun; actually, it was like jury duty: there was a pen full of extras, but all five of us were chosen to be in the same concert scene, where 'the Sex Pistols' are playing some small club. The shoot required showing up early in the morning, for three consecutive days, with the usual promise of a meal ticket and a hundred bucks each day. A three-day commitment was too much for the other guys. In the end, I was the only one of us pathetic enough to show up for the duration.
******** them, I had a blast; for three days, they shot these 'Sex Pistols' concert scenes at the Starwood, a club that I knew inside and out. I'd show up in the morning, clock in and get my meal ticket, then disappear into the bowls of the Starwood and get drunk on Jim Beam all by myself. While the other extras were doing their part plying audience members down on the floor in front of the stage, I watched the proceedings from a hidden corner of the mezzanine--and got paid the same wage."

"There is one image that I have of our days in Seattle that sums it all up to me. It is of an upside down TV. I remember lying with my body half on the bed, my head hung over the end of the pull-out couch so far that the top of it was against the floor. There were equally rotten people that I didn't know lying on both sides of me and I was so stoned that I thought I'd found the best position in the world atht a body might ever be in. The blood rushed to my brain as I dangled there watching The Abdominalbe Dr. Phibes, starring Vincent Price, and there wasn't anything else that I wanted to do."

Funniest one! =D
"The ride home was memorable, too. We were in our rental van, drinking and playing acoustic guitars, when I came put with the jangly intor to what became 'Paradise City.' Duff and Izzy picked it up and started playing it while I came up with the chord changes. I started humming a melody and played it over and over. THen Axl chimed in.
'Take me down to the Paradise City ...'
I kept playing and tossed off some impromptu lyrics. 'Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty,' I sang. I thought that sounded totally gay.
'Take me down to the Paradise City,' Axl sang again.
'Where the girls are fat and they've got big titties!' I shouted.
'Take ... me ... home!' Axl sang.
It was decided that the 'grass is green' line worked a bit better, and thought I preferred my alternate take, I was overruled.


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