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I find that I'm becoming increasingly angry.

I don't really know what happened to me to make me change...
For the past year I've been in a depressive funk... Just kind of... not living.
And just recently, I've come to a sort of epiphany... That the world doesn't revolve around me... That I can't complain or feel bad for myself or my problems... That I'm insignificant unless I do something to help people that deserve it... I'll just be one selfish, living animal.

I look at my surroundings like I'm watching a movie. I'm not involved, I just... watch.
And its not until you see things that way that you become totally and utterly disgusted in the scum that is people today.
There's this kid in my art class that blatantly treated our teacher like he's a piece of garbage. And this teacher is a good teacher; a little grumpy, but a good teacher. And this little f*****t... Just began spewing out the most horrible language I've ever heard in my life. Picking at him personally. And no one, not one person, stood up for our teacher.

I felt sick, and I was so mad. I just sort of stared in disbelief. Then I became overwhelmed with anger, the kind of anger where you can't breathe, and you start to shake. If this kid hadn't shut up and stood up to leave when he did, I feel like I would've lost control. I would have tried to hurt him. I've ALWAYS been intimidated by confrontation... always tried to avoid it, and pretend it's not happening. And now... I was ready to ******** murder this kid.

As he walked towards the door I did too, and when he walked through it, I slammed it on his a**. People were staring at me. And for once in my life I didn't care.

I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. People disgust me. People like that little b***h that bullied my teacher (and is also going out of his way to write a petition to get the teacher fired) and his scummy little friends that laughed, and the cowards that did nothing.

There was another incident where a kid sitting next to my friend right in front of me opened a water bottle by the computers, and the teacher reached to take it away. The kid held onto it, bitched at him, and walked out. Being really ******** disrespectful. And my friend said, "I would've dumped the water on the computer."
And I realized... I used to be like that too. I used to see things from my selfish little circle, from a little kid's point of view, not from the other person's point of view. Not the teacher's point of view. They go to work only to be treated like s**t by kids. That's a ******** miserable way to live.

I don't even want to talk to her tomorrow. The people I hang around at school, they're just as bad as everyone else... They would never defend me in any situation either, that's a guarantee. Unless it benefited them.

And I think back to who I used to be, this blind, selfish ******** sheep like everyone else. I'm glad I woke the ******** up. I don't think many people do.

I feel utterly and totally alone. But I like it this way.
I feel angry. I feel like taking on every person that puts misery on others but I know I'm only one person.

It's times like these I find myself so similar to Light Yagami. I wish I had a ******** Death Note.

/rant. Had to get this out one way or another...