In my past October has never been a great time of year. I always get upset around this time of year. I don't know if it has to do with the weather, or just work loads piling up at this time of year since it's mid semester... or if it's just recalling the past imprinted in my head. I just don't know.
Today I've felt really down. I started the day with a low grade in a class just because Friday was so hectic that I didn't get a chance to hand in a group assessment and she graded our group over the weekend even though other groups aren't done yet. It was really stupid. This teacher is really getting me fed up sometimes.
I just spent my Music theory class analyzing Bach Coral #75 on my own rather than with the class and it's making me feel mid confident for my midterm Thursday. My science class I couldn't even pay attention. I have NO clue what he talked about today because I doodled in my notebook instead the whole time and wrote down song lyrics just to give myself something to do with my hands.
I learned that the person doing a Timpani part I've wanted in a piece was relieved of the part since it's mid semester and he still hasn't gotten it. I really wanted a shot at that part since the current one I have I've played before in High School. The exact part. I'm not benefiting by playing it this semester. But the drum major got it instead. I was told to speak up sooner next time if I get a part I've played before. The only reason I didn't was because I didn't want to take the timpani part away from the person originally assigned it. The fact that I stepped up to ask if I could replace him and got shot down just hurt. I thought it would be my chance to get to play it. I have another piece where I have two timpani solos in the symphonic band so I don't feel like I'm excluded or anything. I just wanted to do something new with this piece on an interesting part.
I also got nailed today in a percussion sectional for the fact that I can't play a ride cymbol rhythm one handed. The conductor reminded those around me about how I always have issues with my wrists. I'm just not as strong as them so I can't play some of the simplest things off of Mallets and Timpani. It wasn't too bad, but still I didn't like that it had to come up again verbally. I have to get it one handed for the next rehearsal, and have it locked in tight/professionally for the concert in December... or maybe it's November. I don't even know.
I've also just been missing things from the past, and dwelling on things from the past lately more than usually. I submitted an old poem today to the school and don't know if this is going to come back to bite me in the a** or not... but I did it to let things from the past go by making the poem not too personal to submit to something anymore. It probably will come back to hurt me with how today's gone. u_u
Melodic Scorpio Community Member 
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