I'm a college freshman in a university I'm totally new to. I have friends, of course. The environment is nothing I'm used to, but I'm adjusting. That's not the point, though. I feel like a low profile nobody in school. I'm affiliated in only one organization. I've never been an inactive student in my entire life.
The intramurals began last Wednesday. It was good because it meant that we would have no classes until Saturday. We have to go to school for attendance, though. But that's a lot better than long hours of boring lectures. There were many contests. And I didn't join any. See how useless I am? It's kinda shameful to say that. I didn't even cheer for my team. I clapped for them. But that's not the intramural spirit. Normally, I'd lose my voice when this school event comes. And surprisingly, it's not happening this year.
I wonder why I couldn't seem to care less about school activities. In this intramurals, I go to school for attendance, go back home, go to school again for attendance, go home, and that routine happens everyday till the intramurals end. My life's a bore. I'm the only one making it boring. But I can't enjoy any of these stuff. You won't understand. I just can't pretend I'm having fun because I'm not.
My life is so messed up. I don't belong here. More often than not, I feel like I need to be somewhere else doing something else. But I've already started this journey - decided for me by "people in authority". I gotta finish what I've started - that's for sure. But the question is: Will I be happy in the end?
gengstah Community Member 
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