In a world bound for chaos its hard to cut out any chance of your everything crashing down all around you. As a teenager your everything is even more unstable than it will be at anyother time in your life (with some exceptions). Sometimes I get that feeling that the weight of the world is on my shoulders and it keeps piling up until finally i feel my knees give out from beneath me, and when i hit the floor im in tears. Once its all over and im able to sit up again without my stomachs nausia tearing me back to the ground i see the remains. Its hard to pick up the pieces and try to go on carrying the world on your shoulders and then having other people toss their own emotional baggage up on top of that. But ive picked up the pieces time and time again, wiping the tears from my cheeks and the distress from my face, putting on another plastic smile to hide my world away. Majordy of the people i interact with at school cant see beyond my eyes, they cant melt away the plastic smile, and they cant help but to toss around their problems as thought they are the end of the world. I dont deny to help them, and i dont tell them to get over themselves because for all i know they are breaking just as badly as i am. Usually their not... Most of the time they have the perfect pieced together family, and the perfect little life that im dieing inside to have. Everytime they bring up how they cant stand it, i think of how ive been standing it for most of my life. My worlds collapses every week or so, but i keep picking up the pieces, thinking that this time they will stay together, and be lifted. But instead the pieces get more fragile, and i get weaker... eventually something has to break... im just scared that its going to be me.
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