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My life
Hmm...I think this journal will mainly have stuff about me and the things that have happened. Or whatever else comes along.
I can't breathe..I can't sleep..I can't think..I can't live..Without him there's an emptiness in my heart and in my life. He was my life. He was the one to make me smile, to make me laugh at the unfunniest things, and to make me look at life in a different way. He showed me that I could actually love and be loved back. He also showed me that there can be happiness in my life. Before him my life was like a cold, lonely night. All dark with the beautiful stars that were so close yet so far away. He was the star in my night. He was beautiful in every way. And he was so much within my reach that it seemed so surreal. I might be too young to say this but I have too...He was my one and only true love. I know this in my heart and soul. I met him, I loved him, and I lost him. Gone from my life forever he will be. I reminisce back on the times when he'd be overprotective and loving at the same time. I can almost hear my laughter echoing from his words in trying to make me happy. It all seems like a dream. A dream that came to an end. A dream never meant to come true. For now my heart is broken not in two, but in a million pieces. My heart's like a mirror, you know...I see it broken upon me only a glimpse of the beauty it once had. Yet never able to fix it again. The moment he waltz out of my life is the moment I stopped living. It's the moment that the deepest pain I would ever endure started. I'll always regret never having said I love you enough. Never having told him how much he meant to me. But most importantly, I'll always regret the painful words I told him. The love I felt and still feel for him wasn't like any other. It was wonderful and beautiful. It was the only thing that ever made me feel happy. I know I'll always love him. For he'll always be in my heart. I know I'll never love anyone as much as I did him. But then you can't really compare any kind of love to this one. It wouldn't be fair...My friends have told me to move on. To accept the fact that he's most likely dead. But I can't....I remember one day at school. I was sitting on these steps staring into space. My friends were around me laughing and playing around. Living life...I remember hugging myself and thinking that I'd never felt so cold before. I shivered...But then I realized I wasn't cold at all. And then it hit me that all warmth had been deprived from my body since he'd disappeared. Slowly, day by day, any resemblance of happiness had been obliterated. I remember rocking myself back and forth with tears pouring out of my face. My friends came around me asking me what was wrong. But at the moment I couldn't hear them or see them. All I could see was darkness. All I could hear was the shattering of my heart. I closed my eyes and for a second I remembered the first time he'd said, "I love you." And that one simple moment was the end for me. Cause I knew those words I would never hear from him again. I can't move on..I can't let go. I never will be able to. It's hard to do so. And although I can admit that he might most likely be dead. Never will this one small ray of hope diminish. Never will I lose this little faith I have left that he's alive out there somewhere. For it's the only thing keeping me alive right now





 
 
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