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you know, i havent written on gaia for a long time.. and i've only written when i'm upset.. and i think i am, so here i go.
i hate myself, and everyone thinks i'm emo.. maybe i am.. i tried cutting once, it was a single cut about 2cm long.. i tried to it to see if it would help, but it really doesnt.. that was near 7 months ago.. so i dont think i can really be emo.. gah.. i have a boyfriend who loves me to death, and i think he's suffocating me.. but i cant tell what i feel, i think i love him, but if i did, why would i want a break? i used to be happy about being on the phone 7 hours at a pop, but now i want him to go so i can chat with other guys online! and when he realizes it, he gets upset because he has no confidence in himself, so he think's i'm gonna leave for the next piece of hot a** that walks into my life, and leave him there to kill himself. but i dont want to do that.. i want to have friends, and i want him and me to grow, to be bestfriends, not just a couple.. but i dont know how to be better friends, and every time i bring it up he starts balling because he think's i'm trying to break up with him! i dont want to break up, so is there another way we could be better friends with out breaking up? it's like he's so focused on being the perfect mate, he forgets that "friend" in the base of a boyfriend. i enjoy being kinky and cuddly, but i dont want it 24-7, i need some me time, and i cant explain that to him with out him thinking he did something wrong or that i'm trying to break up with him.. it's starting to wear me down.. i'm almost glad school's coming so i'll have a set time i can talk to him for the day.. dont get me wrong, i do enjoy being with him, it's just i cant breath..
 Lorista · Fri Aug 18, 2006 @ 03:49pm · 0 Comments |
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I am so happy.. it's been so long since i've felt this way.. i'm not sad at all.. Chris loves me, and what more could i want in a boyfriend? he's absolutly beautiful, he's pale, he has dark brown hair, a beautiful smile, and the most amazing pair of blue eyes i have ever seen, they're almost white blue.. he's kind, considerate, affectionate, and polite! i dont think he would ever, ever hurt me.. i'm just worried i'll end up hurting him.. i dont ever want to hurt him, he's my sweet heart.
~~Lorista
Lorista · Sun Nov 13, 2005 @ 12:44am · 0 Comments |
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well, i'm not going anywhere with alex.. i htink i hate him.. but anyways.. pm me if you want a gf, and u wanna be my bf! heart
Lorista · Fri Oct 21, 2005 @ 09:01pm · 0 Comments |
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i was worried i wasnt going to have a date to hamecoming, but Alex just asked me!! i'm sooooo giddy right now!!! heart heart xd whee wink mrgreen
Lorista · Tue Sep 20, 2005 @ 01:51am · 0 Comments |
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please fill out
What if:
[1] I committed suicide:
[2] I said I liked you:
[3] I kissed you:
[4] I lived next door to you:
[5] I started smoking:
[6] I stole something:
[7] I was hospitalized:
[8] I ran away from home:
[9] I got into a fight and you weren't there:
What do you think about my:
[1] Personality:
[2] Eyes:
[3] Face:
[4] Hair:
[5] Clothes:
[6] Mannerisms:
Other:
[1] Who are you?
[2] Are we friends?
[3] When and how did we meet?
[4] How have I affected you?
[5] What do you think of me?
[6] What's the fondest memory you have of me?
[7] How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
[8] Do you love me?
[9] Have I ever hurt you?
[10] Would you hug me?
[11] Would you kiss me?
[12] Would you devirginize me?
[13] Would you marry me?
[14] Emotionally, what stands out?
[15] Do you wish I was cooler?
[16] On a scale of 1-10, how nice am I?
[17] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[18] Am I loveable?
[19] How long have you known me?
[20] Describe me in one word.
[21] What was your first impression?
[22] Do you still think that way about me now?
[23] What do you think my weakness is?
[24] Do you think I'll get married?
[25] What about me makes you happy?
[26] What about me makes you sad?
[27] What reminds you of me?
[28] What's something you would change about me?
[29] How well do you know me?
[30] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[31] Do you think I would kill someone?
[32] Are we close?
[33] Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
Lorista · Tue Sep 06, 2005 @ 12:08am · 0 Comments |
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it's just one of those days.. i feel like dieing, but my body wont let me. My Heart is rent in two, and my body screams in agony. Any yet, i cant die. Save me from this pain. love me like no one else has. show me compassion, save my soul from this eternal hell.
Lorista · Mon Sep 05, 2005 @ 12:05am · 0 Comments |
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i'm feeling a little better today.. last night i felt like running, just flat out running.. i almost did, but i'm not alowed out by myself, and no one wants to run.. and it was like almost 12... um... i also got super depressed, and on of my brother's friends told me i need a boyfriend, and just forget about michael.. or atleast make him jeolus w/ a bf.. i dont know.. i'll write later
Lorista · Mon Aug 29, 2005 @ 09:43pm · 0 Comments |
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