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I've lost track of my fangirls so I'll be honoring them here. Here's the list:
1. Kiya Takamaru
2. Simana
3. WhiteTiger15
4. Nikishi
5. Cassette
6. YuukaKurrokawa
7. Mokoni
8. Pandafiend
9. Ryosakai
10. Shiruberu
 Ironic_Oxymoron · Thu Aug 24, 2006 @ 04:36am · 0 Comments |
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I posted this everywhere but my journal. So here:
Long Distance Love - 50
People never pondered such problems would plague a pair,
But she puts me on a pedestal of perfection,
I progress to a puddle of pixels
When she picks the phone up and preeches
her pretty impervious and peachy voice into my
proper ear/ she pauses to plead that we will one day pend
in a face to face practice, premidated, a pleasing prospect of perpetual love,
that will prematurely prepare our personas for pregnancy of the heart
I dare to dominate her dreamy disclosure,
but dream to dare of domination,
Discriminating the discrepancy that reality deviates,
I loathe the distance draped between our disfortunate dislocation,
and distantly dwell of dissapearing into her desperate arms/
but damn the deranged disfortune dispersed to a deeply loving pair,
Life let me know I can't let her go, so life is never fair
-----------------------------------------------------------------
An adolescent obscenely agitated of being unable to advance
into his allowing arms, im angry with anguish for amplifying my
lack of acquisition/ an assortment actually aimed at an adolescence
to restrain a deeply allocated allure for love
He enhances and enchants me with every enticement, makes
every day extravagant, seem endless/his love: everlasting ;
elongating an instant to eternity and elevating my
emotions unexpected, Im experianced enough to
expect nothing extraodinary, enlightened enough
to be extinguished by the external obvious reality,
im extremely engolfed in love i cant express exactly,
so I eminate, evaporate, and wait to intertwine
Life let me know I can't let him go, with him life is divine
-Ironic
Ironic_Oxymoron · Wed Aug 23, 2006 @ 03:40am · 1 Comments |
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By the way in case you were woundering about my situation with my parents today, it's really great if you like a mom that kicked you out to pay rent living at your aunts house, and a dad who when is not in jail, is MIA or sniffing coke to get his kicks. His physcho wife's probabely in on it too. I feel bad for the kids, the triplets. But at least my other 3 siblings are doing ok. Somehow my stepsister turned out sane with an insane mother. I wish I could say the same for myself.
Sorry if you didn't know, but I hate my parents with a passion. I had a dad once, or at least thats what I'd love to keep telling myself. But he's been in and out of jail most of my life for his coke sniffing addiction. My mother on the other hand is really just a dumb a**. She doesn't know how to be a mother, she can't even take care of herself. Somehow she blew 50,000$ she got from selling the house AFTER she kicked me out, and lives with her mom in washington now. ******** her really. ******** them both they can suck my limp biscut.
Ironic_Oxymoron · Sat Jul 01, 2006 @ 05:03am · 0 Comments |
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Picking up where I left off |
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Today I realized something. No matter how much energy you put into making something happen in virginia, it won't. Not unless you have a car of your own, a job to put gas in it, and of course a place to go. Sure people can like you, people can love you, but people will eventually get tired of coming to visit you. And the ones that don't, well you have to wounder about. Im not a bad person, well, I don't try to be, but on a friday night I find myself bored out of my skull and usually twice as drunk as I am bored. This place is hell.
There's nowhere to go that I don't know about. I could name every place in centreville there is to eat out, every place to eat in, every barbor shop, every gas station, every dollar store, every bar, and every bank. I feel like I could draw a map of this place and I've only been here for 9 months. 9 months of hell, what am I pregnant? I guess im not a quiet town person, I need somewhere that'll never get boring, never get old. Where there's always someplace new to discover, to call your own. Every place has some seclusion where people hang out. But here it's so quiet...too quiet. I feel like elmer fud hunting bugs bunny because as much as I believe I'm going to get what I want, by the time I get there rabbit season will be over.
I could go on and on and it would make me feel better, but I'm going to make a long story short. Read carefully. In Virginia, at least in centreville, NOTHING happens unless YOU make it happen, and make it happen BIG every time. This place blows more than every prostitute in Los Vegas.
Ironic_Oxymoron · Sat Jul 01, 2006 @ 04:48am · 0 Comments |
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If you don't know where all this came from by now, then you don't deserve to read the rest of my old journal. For those of you who aren't dumbstruck go ahead and read the rest from the source. It's here on gaia if that hint helps. I left out some good theories and a couple things about my relationships ect with family. It's not bad.
What saddens me is, I was smarter as a 14 year old than I'll ever be for the rest of my life. And that's all for the past journal, from here on out it's all spankin new material.
Ironic_Oxymoron · Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 02:27am · 0 Comments |
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Inexcusable Misconception? |
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It seems I've recieved a false alarm, I am in no way an insomniac...but will the world continue to spin? Yes, I'm quite sure it will. I read an article today that told me the awser to life is 42. Litterally...check google. No, seriously, I want you to go to google.com right now and type "awser to life the universe and everything". Oddly enough, it should say 42 somewhere, in plain sight. I officially have fear toward google as of this day, because that's plainly- odd.
On a brighter note, during a conversation I came up with a few ideas [of sort], that I figured I'd vent. Why? Because I have a journal, and I can.
1) Inspiration: What could've inspired god to create life? Seriously, if you were alone in the universe, and had the power to do anything, would the first thing to come to mind to be create a species that can become as utterly miserable as you are? Create logic, and boundries to be broken, yet abided by? So what're we here for? What are we? My guess? We're the visual example of a very complicated math problem that starts and numbers and ends in oblivion. I say that perhaps because I wish to be oblivious to society. I wish to cease to exist, I want to have no records of being born or dying. I want to simply...saunter. Something of that degree.
2) Death...again: Death. Too me, the point of life, to you, the dread of loss. What is death essentially, one may ask. Death is what we all know we're fated to accomplish by the end of our lives, and we all know death will be the very idea, and fragment that triggers the end of "life". I often ask myself, what is life? You'll soon find out how that scenario worked out, provided you keep reading. Death is life, and how can that make sense. Ryo, that's plainly irrational, and contradictory. Yes, Ryo, it is...quite that. But is life not contradictory itself? What's the point of creating more laws to live by when we know that one day the law of logic will bind us to death. Henceforth let it be known [if it already isnt] that I'm ashamed of being a human being.
3) Life: As I said before, death is life, but does that neccissarily mean life is death? I doubt it, for my interpretation of life, is a sick, cruel, and perhaps amusing joke. It's like a lesson in a story. You see in the climax, that all of the things the character's have worked for is soon to be taken away by the cruelty of rule. Life is a lesson, a lesson in biology, in phsycology, in geometry, and algebra, and death. Note: that these commas are not those that seperate a list, or common ideas, but those of pauses between reading. Yes, we all know that much time in life is spent pondering about death, or at least some part of life. I remember back when I was a child, I was afraid of mystery. For example, I didn't know what was going on while I was sleep. I don't mean, what was happening around me or too me, just how the damn thing worked. You close your eyes, and you awaken to see that time has changed...time travel perhaps? Maybe when I'm asleep I leave my body I thought. Maybe sleep is the urge to escape being physical, I think. But no, sleep is just another way to prolonge[sp] your suffering, that suffering which is so bluntly refferred[sp] to as life.
4) Happily ever after: As much as I hate happy endings, I notice I ponder as to how I'll read my own. My idea of paradise is simple, it is not existing as I described before, perhaps an enlongated outter body experiance. Perhaps my happy ending lies in heaven, perhaps in hell...who knows. What I do know is, when it's all said and done I do have a happy ending. I do have one, and it is not for me alone, it is for me and love. Love is not an object to me, or an emotion, love is people. Certain people of course, god knows I dispise him and humanity..yet there are acceptions. I accept them because they amuse me. Odd reasoning I know but...what is a crazed, hormonal, angsty, moronic ignoramous like me to do? My paradise lies somewhere in lack of existance, like I described earlier. But as I've said before, I'm seeing far too many I's in this entry. Meaning I must be being overly selfish...even though I'm allowed to be, it's my journal damnit.
Ja ne, and sweet dreams to those of you who made it this far, and to those of you who skipped to the end and happened to scan through this... Well, Hi. Question: If I somehow bought a private island with no laws or rules, would you come? If so, would killing me cross your mind?[As it would have no consequence].
Ryosakai · Sun Jan 23, 2005 @ 5:31 pm ·
Ironic_Oxymoron · Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 02:21am · 0 Comments |
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A New year of the Same Day |
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