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After rounding a particularly sharp bend in the path I was following, I came across a hint as to my whereabouts. It was a red-haired man in a business suit who happened to be sporting horns and a pitchfork. If those weren't enough to send up a red-flag, then the elongated, scaly arm he had was. I didn't have to look very hard for it to be obvious that this wasn't some cheap, Hollywood costume. This was quite obviously the real deal. Having nearly knocked him over in our sudden confrontation, I had no choice but to speak.

"Oh s**t. I'm dead and this is hell, isn't it?" I blurted out.
"You seem quite alive to me," he said, looking me over.
"Soooo... you're NOT Satan?"
"Heavens no. My name is Lentiss. I am a lawyer".
"Aw crap. I'd rather you have just told me you were Satan".

Ignoring my caustic remark, he seemed to take note of my confusion and spoke. "So I take it you're a new arrival?".
"New arrival? Just where the hell am I?" I asked, annoyed.
"This is the land of Gaia".

Falling through time and space? Demon lawyers? Gaia? It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened.

"Aw crap. I'm not on Earth, anymore, am I?".
"Earth? I've heard of that one before. I'm sorry to inform you that you are, indeed, no longer on your planet" Lentiss said as if delivering a subpoena. "This has been occurring more and more, recently".
"Well how the hell did I get here and what do I have to do to get back?" I questioned.
"I apologize, but I don't have the answers to your questions. I can, however, help you in the acquisition of certain... necessities," he replied, nodding towards my lack of clothing. "I'd give you some money, but I'm afraid I don't like to carry any on my person while travelling".
Showing him the coins I had found earlier, I asked "Is this money?".
"Indeed it is. Well then; keep following the path and you'll come across Barton Town. Go to the town square and you'll find The Barton Boutique. Ask for a man named Ian and he will give you a good deal for what you have. Personally, I prefer H.R. Wesley in Durem but it might be a little out of your price range. Make sure to ask Ian about the Housing Commission. It is there that you can find lodging. I'd take you there myself, but I'm late for a meeting as it is".
"I appreciate the help. Nice, uh... horns," I stammered.
"Thank you. If you need any help, it is easy to contact me. Here's my card".

Accepting his offering, we then parted ways.

I hadn't gotten far when I heard him call back to me "By the way, you wouldn't be interested in selling your soul, would you?".
"Thanks, but I think I'll hold on to it for a while!", I yelled in response.
"Let me know if you change your mind!" he shouted, before disappearing around the corner.

Since I had been walking in that direction, anyways, I decided to take Lentiss' advice and kept heading towards town. But was it a good idea? After all, if he was what constituted as normal around here, what would the other residents of this world be like?!?

Uggh.... my head still hurts. After what seemed like hours of endless descent, I finally hit the ground with a deafening thud. I would have thought it was a dream if it didn't hurt so damned much. Lying dazed on the ground trying to make sense of the swirling colors in front of me, I was surprised when they snapped back into focus to reveal the canopy of some kind of forest. A lot of questions go through a man's mind at a time like this.

Where am I?

What just happened?

How the hell am I still alive?

Where are my clothes?!?

Attempting to make sense of the situation, I tried to remember what exactly led to my curious predicament. Oh yeah... One minute I was minding my own business getting dressed for work and the next I began to fall. I don't mean slipping on a wet floor and landing on your back falling, I mean falling. There was no indication that this was going to happen. No flashing lights, no loud bang, and most importantly NO HOLE. Worst of all, I barely had enough time to get my boxers on before it happened. Any person who's ever gotten drunk knows there's no worse feeling than waking up in a strange place with no clothes on.

The only problem is that I don't drink.

Seeing no other alternative, I picked myself up and began to look around. Luckily I had landed close to an extremely well-worn path. Lying on the ground next to it was an empty journal and what seemed to be some sort of currency; both of which must have been lost by a careless traveller. Seeing small puffs of what appeared to be chimney smoke rising in the distance, I decided to take my findings and follow the path in that direction. Where on Earth am I? I'm going to find some answers, damnit... and hopefully some clothes while I'm at it.