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_ I was at a friend's house (Varda's) and we were watching the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer called "One More Time, With Feeling" (aka the musical one). At the end when Buffy is about to kill herself, Spike stops her and says, "The hardest part of life is living it."
_ It can be such an easy task to let go. Oct. 23 was the 5 year anniversary of my mom's death. Right after she died, that was all I wanted to do. I wanted to drown in a sea of nothingness. The people around me and the people who passed me by saw only a red-eyed freak who looked like she'd break down and cry if you said "Hello." The truth of it was that I was already broken. I had already rent inside, and during classes I just sat there while tears fell from my face. Of course, no one noticed unless they turned around and actually looked at me. Those that did didn't know what to do, and pretended not to notice. Then I met Isilien Elenihin.
_ I never had a greater friend; indeed, she is a sister to me. She gave me something to look forward to, something to hold on to. She gave me hope, and showed me that life goes on. She taught me that even with a broken leg you can still walk on. She saw and understood, listened and talked. She was everything a sister is supposed to be, and still is today. You taught me strength. You taught me to breathe. Thank you for being there.
_ Not long thereafter I met Alpha Ookami. That was amusing. Random things just randomly follow her; all those field trips playing hangman with deformed heads, dented e's and a's, and the not-quite-linear lines. And then the crackers. *let's out a laugh* The parachutes too, but nothing will top the crackers. You brought me back to myself. You taught me how to laugh, how to smile again. Thank you for being there.
_ A couple years passed and I met Aurora Ookami. She talked to the shy one attempting to become part of the wall (that would be me). It was one of those things that go "Hello," "Hi," and "Nice to meet you" and turns into one of the best friendships a person could ask for. Whether you knew it or not, you brought me back to the world. Thank you for being there.
_ Gabrielle Artrath. She has probably the most courage I've seen in one person. She knows who she is and is proud of it. Screw the box--she doesn't think outside the box, she lives outside the box. You taught me that to belong you have to belong, not just find a group and conform to it. You taught me not to fear the dark, and not to fear the light. Thank you for being there.
_ It seems that every year a new person joins the bunch. Varda invaded, and she is an amazing person. She has creative creativity spirting from the fountain of youth of creativness. You have an endless supply of ideas in your head, and if plan A fails there's always plan B, or C, or Aa, Zy...You ressurected the inner child I thought I had lost. Thank you for being there.
_ Last Friday morning I hit a low spot again. And guess what happened: I found myself surrounded by the sisters of my true family, the people I love because they're in my heart, not because they have DNA in common with me. We have more than that: we share souls.
You are probably the only reason why I am alive today. You taught me how to live. You taught me that all storms must end, if only for a moment. And you showed me how much that one moment is worth.
_ The hardest part of life is living it, and when I'm ready to fall, I turn around--I can't do it. I won't.
_ Thank you, and know that I am there for you, too.
 Evara Faigel · Wed Oct 27, 2004 @ 04:43am · 9 Comments |
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