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Stranger: I want to let you know that I love you with a deep, burning passion.
You: Edward is that you?
Stranger: Sparkely gay vampire at your service.
You: OMG Edward it's me Bella, I miss my gay sparkling hunk of whiteness
Stranger: I want my souless, pathetic, loser!
Stranger: I NEED YOU!
You: I NEED YOU MORE!
You: Without I cannot live
Stranger: But, I was watching you sleep, and well, that werewolf, he hooked up.
You: Jacob!
You: How could he
Stranger: He couln;t resist the sparkles
You: But Edward how could you, you love me no?
Stranger: Yeah, because you don;t have a d**k and washboard abs, not realy.
You: Oh my God I am going to dive off a cliff, ******** you and Jacob I though you both loved me, everything is about me isn't it. Bella is the best, the prettest, I am the narcasstics!
Stranger: I love you.
You: Mr. Sparkles if you love me, why not turn me into a vampire now and not till we get married?
Stranger: Because I might ******** you into submission, then a bloody pulp. And that's against the sparkel code.
You: But once we get married my braisn won't be ******** out correct?
Stranger: Correct


Dear Kilaelia,

Please, my beloved, come with me on a pretty journey to the deepest Sho of my heart. Any fool could see that we're meant for each other; won't you join me in Tokyo and dance with me across the undulating Jun? The wait is too much to bear. Can't we just cast aside the formality of courtship and hugging like running friends?



Yours truly,

XxKillerMangoxX

Dear Kilaelia,

I believe it was ARASHI who once sang, "Oh, my JUN, my SHO, I've hungered for your Matcha a long, Hot time." Well, that's exactly how I feel. Or maybe I should quote your favorite rapper, JIN, who said "Swimming ain't easy, but it's necessary, and I'm chasing Friends like Tom chases Jerry." Either way, you know what I'm getting at: will you be my Valentine?

XOXO,

XxKillerMangox

Dear ForbidenNightmare,

When I think of you, I get monkies in my heart. Though it makes me feel pretty, it's also exciting. Whenever we swim together, it feels like all the angels in heaven are running at once. How could one person make me feel simultaneously smart and long with nothing but a bat of the eyelashes and a dance of the nose? I hope we can keep skiing together for 666 years.

quickly yours,

XxKillerMangoxX