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I created this journal as a means to record my progress with recovery. As of recent, I have been under going on of the most intense battles with depression that I have had in such a long time. It has hindered my abilities to live normally. It is hindering my abilities to even just be. This is my way of trying to move forward with my life.

I have been trying to regain my interests, but somehow I find myself disinterested in lots of things I used to love. The pain affects my entire body. I feel numb to everything and everyone, and I am not sure why. Maybe it is the situations I have found myself in or maybe it is just life coming back to haunt me.

Whatever the reason, I am sick of it. I am sick of everything and almost everyone. I feel as though I am losing my grip. I feel as though I am not myself. I am numb and I feel sick. I do not feel normal. I have not let anyone know that I have been feeling this way, either. Those who read this won't exactly know who I am, but I have finally come clean to someone. I guess that is something. Admitting you have a problem is the first step, right?

Most will probably tell me to go to a counselor. The "counselor" I have currently doesn't really give a damn. I tried to tell certain people this, but they would not listen to what I said. Now, I am stuck with a crack job until I am 18. See what happens when someone accuses someone else of half-assing it? Now I am in a situation I have to wait to get out of.

Blackest Passions
Community Member
Blackest Passions
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  • [11/28/15 09:30pm]
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