I tilted my head to peer at my toes, watching water droplets fall from my eyelashes. Such a small thing, but it always soothes me. Warm water rolled off of my skin as I stood in the dark, wondering about nothing at all and singing about nothing in particular. It wasn't about the words, or even the melody, so much as it was about releasing something into the void. A part of myself that could release nowhere else and couldn't really be described by words at all, let alone the words I sang.
I felt the ground sink from beneath me, and though normally this feeling would cause an uncomfortable dip in the pit of my stomach, I somehow only felt a sense of belonging.
I knew where I was and yet at the same time not at all, engulfed in blues, greens and a deep, fathomless indigo. Rather than seeing, I felt bright balls of gas and dust glow from within that abyss and a trail of diamonds light up an infinite cosmos. But these things were far away and just pretty things in the distance from where I drew solace.
My body floated along the dark currents as colorful fish swam past, coral and seaweed and sponges guiding their courses in a simple space filled with complex things. I paddled my legs ever so gently so that I might drift father, faster, the water shifting over my meager muscles and holding my slight frame afloat.
Warmth spread through me as I spiraled and surfaced and dove, touching the bottom every once in a while to remind myself that I was still solid, brushing up against a creature's fins or scales.
Dreams rolled past me like clouds in the sky, a bright smile here and a thick forest there, roads leading to castles and ships sailing through space. People were positive feelings taken physical form and the world was a canvas through which I could finger-paint as much as I pleased.
Eventually the tides washed me upon a bare shore, some trees a few yards away, the wet sand pulling me into place, into rest. Rain poured over the beach uselessly, lazily, palm leaves swaying with the warm winds. The dreams became still-frames, and these into vague visions until only the sky filled my sight, my mind. Reality would soon take hold. Ache and exhaustion and frustration, synapses racing with mediocre thoughts and lackluster lives and impulses.
Leave me to my thoughtlessness. Let me be the ocean and the sky above it.
Let me lie in my watery abyss.
I felt the ground sink from beneath me, and though normally this feeling would cause an uncomfortable dip in the pit of my stomach, I somehow only felt a sense of belonging.
I knew where I was and yet at the same time not at all, engulfed in blues, greens and a deep, fathomless indigo. Rather than seeing, I felt bright balls of gas and dust glow from within that abyss and a trail of diamonds light up an infinite cosmos. But these things were far away and just pretty things in the distance from where I drew solace.
My body floated along the dark currents as colorful fish swam past, coral and seaweed and sponges guiding their courses in a simple space filled with complex things. I paddled my legs ever so gently so that I might drift father, faster, the water shifting over my meager muscles and holding my slight frame afloat.
Warmth spread through me as I spiraled and surfaced and dove, touching the bottom every once in a while to remind myself that I was still solid, brushing up against a creature's fins or scales.
Dreams rolled past me like clouds in the sky, a bright smile here and a thick forest there, roads leading to castles and ships sailing through space. People were positive feelings taken physical form and the world was a canvas through which I could finger-paint as much as I pleased.
Eventually the tides washed me upon a bare shore, some trees a few yards away, the wet sand pulling me into place, into rest. Rain poured over the beach uselessly, lazily, palm leaves swaying with the warm winds. The dreams became still-frames, and these into vague visions until only the sky filled my sight, my mind. Reality would soon take hold. Ache and exhaustion and frustration, synapses racing with mediocre thoughts and lackluster lives and impulses.
Leave me to my thoughtlessness. Let me be the ocean and the sky above it.
Let me lie in my watery abyss.
