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Sometimes i like to think to myself what is "to far". Is to far when you finally piss some off? or when you try but you get response? Is there any reason to keep trying once you go to far? Or is going to far just the first step? That necessary step to set you in front of everyone else? I personally no longer know. I guess to far always holds its general meaning. You piss some off and you have gone "to far" but then isn't going to far just trying excessively? So wouldn't trying to get one some one's good side again and again goin' "to far"?
My idea is that to far is never good. You must obviously be able to cross a line when your trying to get on someone's good or bad side. of course it is pointed it out when you cross the bad line. But when you cross the good line is when it is the hardest. Know one tells you when you go "to far" on the good side. I believe i have gone "to far" on someone's good side, and then ran the other way. For this is am sorry but everyone goes through this "to far" on the right side... right? When you just get along so well with someone that is just feels wrong? I have, and i have also gone to far on the wrong side of the line.
I think i might have alienated some of my friends. I know this becuase day after day i am spending my days alone. Know one around except for the few that are willing to put up with me. I guess i need t change. No, i know i need to change. Maybe i'm to angry, to loud, annoying, frustrating, to honest, to much of a liar, to nervous, to unfriednly, to shy, to something. Something is wrong with me but i don't know what that something is.
Well the moral of the story is if you feel as if no one is around anymore, its becuase the aren't, Something has happened, it isn't their fault. It isn't your fault, it isn't anyone's fault. Sometimes people grow out of trends and personalities, and if you can't grow with the rest then there is reason to stay with them. It can be good to stay the same, it can be bad, it is all up to how you see it. But i know that i need to change my ways somehow. I just don't know how.
Leave comments. You know i love 'em =3
-Ozzy
Skreemin · Sat Jun 02, 2007 @ 04:06am · 1 Comments |
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Until Mommy Returns
He stood in his room looking down at old photos of his friends. Those were fun times He thought to himself. He was tall and a bit chunk but nothing over 20 pound overwieght. His hair was freshly cut and his eyes round. With every passing second his eyes swelled and his chapped lips quivered. "Where are you" he asked to no one, A tear fell on the picture. He wiped his tears and walked sadly over to bed grabbing a Blue Eyed little dog made from yawn, It's Body white, and ears blue. He hugged hard making the stuffing peek out from the large yaen knits. "I loved you all so much, and now, What do i have to show for it except for this damn toy" his voice was raspy from crying and every word hurt. He stared into the little toys eyes. "Can you help me? can you take me back to those days? I don't want to be alone" he pleaded to the toy holding close again.
"No" it said. It's mouth didn't move, and neither did any other part of it. It was a disombodied voice that rung through his ears like a roar.
"What?"
"You heard me, You can't have your friends back, You know what it mean to come to me in the first place" It said it voice incredibly deep for a small blue eyed toy.
"Please?" he pleaded with it, crying his eyes out.
"NO, Unless" "UNless what?!" he screamed in desperation.
"Your life, Give me your life, let me become you and you can return with your friends"
"No, I...I can't do that" He said regret boiling in his mind.
"Come on, It's easy you know where everything you need is" it said. It's voice was smooth and discrete.
"No" He said wiping his nose."It's bad enough you took all of them from me" He began to cry again.
"Look at you, what the ******** is wrong with you, crying like a baby" The toys voice remained in a deep tone. it's word were smooth and flowed perfectly in the river of the boy's mind.
"SHUT UP!" he screamed.
"Why don't you make......" the voice stopped and faded slowly.
A woman Voice took over "AWwwwww shh shh it's okay baby" she said picking up the boy. "The pictures are back see just turn the page" she said in her calming voice, the kind of voice only a loving mother could have.
The boy cooed and smiled shoving his face into his mother chest"I love my mommy" he said to himself. HE couldn't speak seeing that he was merely 6 months old and hadn't even had his fist tooth yet. They toy was never seen again.
Skreemin · Fri Mar 02, 2007 @ 04:42am · 0 Comments |
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ok everyone here i have a scholarly essay for my AP english class so dont just skim it like my other stuff........it surely has grammatical problems since its a rough draft and i wrote it so yeah bare with me............
Women in the Military
In democracy we have a system of checks and balances to protect the people of this country from a tyrannical system of government that would only abuse and destroy. Yet, there is still one part of our most marvelous democratic system that is untouched by the needs of checks and balances, when in action at least. Our military seems to be the only place where one man can control one hundred at a time with no objection. This is where democracy fails us and the people of this country, at least the soldiers, are subject to an inequality in rights. This is a place where men outnumber woman one thousand to one and yet, there are those that have a twisted view that woman are denied there right to be in battle along side with men. There are some that want woman to join the army and fight along men without seeing the ramifications of their vision. Woman should not be allowed to fight along side men in battles because its exposes them to a higher chance of physical injury not only in combat but in training, sexual assault, and there will never be a large enough number of woman joining to make a difference.
Women surpass men everyday more and more. The list of jobs women do better than men is ever-growing and changing. Women can now be better mechanics, doctors, construction foramens, and other types of working individuals that used to be just for men. In the last five to ten years the number of women in colleges and universities has increased drastically and have started to even surpass that of men. Despite the common woman's endless list of opportunities nowadays they still cant do everything a man can. To be specific the number of woman in the military has not changed and neither has their performance. The demanding physical activity in combat, not to mention training, has been known to bring down even the strongest of men; wouldn't that mean that even the strongest of woman would most likely fall as well? In a report by the Presidential Commission on the Assignment of Women in the Armed Forces (report date November 15, 1992, published in book form by Brassey's in 1993): "The average female Army recruit is 4.8 inches shorter, 31.7 pounds lighter, has 37.4 fewer pounds of muscle, and 5.7 more pounds of fat than the average male recruit. She has only 55 percent of the upper-body strength and 72 percent of the lower-body strength… An Army study of 124 men and 186 women done in 1988 found that women are more than twice as likely to suffer leg injuries and nearly five times as likely to suffer from stress fractures as men." In a statistical view woman are not up to the minimum physical requirements of army recruits. The army is the least demanding military branch compared to the marines and navy and still so many believe that women can join and just go through the army with no problems at all. The fact of the matter is that its not true. Catherine Aspy graduated from Harvard in 1992 and enlisted in the Army in 1995. Her account was published in Reader's Digest, February, 1999. "I was stunned. The Army was a vast day-care center, full of unmarried teen-age mothers using it as a welfare home. I took training seriously and really tried to keep up with the men. I found I couldn't. It wasn't even close. I had no idea the difference in physical ability was so huge. There were always crowds of women sitting out exercises or on crutches from training injuries". Not only are most woman statistically unable to pass basic training but from the account of Catherine Aspy, a woman who tried to enlist in the army, woman aren't even able keep up with daily training.
It is not only the fact that woman do bad when it comes to passing basic training and the ones that do pass still have a hard time in the military, but woman in combat are outnumbered by men and that puts them in a position where they can be sexually assaulted. This is a serious dilemma when the very men we entrust the survival of our country cant be trusted to control their own selves. Catherine Aspy continued in her article in Reader's Digest: "They [the Army] were so scared of sexual harassment that women weren't allowed to go anywhere without another woman along. They called them 'Battle Buddies.' It was crazy. I was twenty-six years old but I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself." I'm positive we can all agree that if even the army believes women are in danger of sexual harassment, during basic training mind you, they should shouldn't be subjected to fighting in an overly crowded camp with a number of men that doubles their own. It's illogical to put them in, not only the danger of an artillery shell falling in the camp, but the danger of being raped by their fellow soldiers. I know many woman can do the same as any man and even surpass them but there is a limit to what they can do especially when it comes to military matters.
With the rising number of movements for equality in the united states one of the one the movements that has had the most impact on society is the movements for women's rights. It has may made marvelous progress in it's goal in empowering woman and has been going strong since the 1970's and will keep on going, but it fails when it comes to women enrollment in the military. Though America itself has not done much exploration into women as soldiers fighting the frontlines in Canada it is a different story. Our neighboring country, Canada, has found little evidence to support the integration of women into ground units; Of 103 Canadian women who volunteered to joint infantry units, only one graduated the initial training course. It is not that there aren't woman who can't pass but there just aren't enough women wanting to join. From Canadian experience the likelihood of having women pass the basic training programs is one hundred and thirty to one. Let us not even speak of the different emotional capabilities of woman to men. In an article from Military Medicine, October 1997, "Kessler et al found that the lifetime prevalence of PTSD in the United States was twice as high among women…" Depression, says MilMed, is far commoner among women, as are training injuries. If the women of our country can not handle the emotional stress of combat and training we can not allow them to enter an area that will ultimately damage their emotional stability for the rest of their lives.
Little has changed in the passing years and even though it is now 2006 the military has only increased it's requirements for joining it's many branches. Training and overseas combat is getting more dangerous and it will only increase while our governments political stability is in a case of dire failure. We can not risk the lives of the dozens of women that want to fight overseas if we don't see a change in the acceptance rate of women into the military and an increase in the number of woman enlisting. The decision to let woman fight along side men in combat is a delicate and constantly controversial dilemma with one solution. Don't let women who have been statistically proven to not be able to perform in war put their fellow soldiers in danger and their own lives in danger by fighting in wars.
Skreemin · Mon Oct 30, 2006 @ 06:51am · 3 Comments |
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i saw your picture a million times but stared at it a million more only for it to fade and dry
the vivid picture that was you pure and simple replaced by another
what can i say in a wolrd where pictures are thrown to the wind an are replaced by laughter and smiles
you were great you were happy but i wasnt. with every day i cursed that picture
now i have found a new one; a vivid picuture pure and simple but this one is her and me not just you
Skreemin · Tue Oct 17, 2006 @ 07:12am · 4 Comments |
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ah yes the romantic comedy................ rofl + heart
"ferris wheel"
it was a warm and quaint summer night in italy. Many of the lower sidewalks of venice had been emptied of people but as we walked up the aged old sotones of red and white the crowds grew and grew. we walked though the left side of the crowd by where the river was.
The river was beauiful with the reflection of the moon and the stars.Each celestial being glowing, even radiating more then the ones that followed until they reached the moon.
Oh, how the moon looked that night. It glowed its ivory glow and sparkled in venice's beautiful river. I look to my side and i see people, more and more people. My friend, whos name escapes me, looks and gives a smile. Her cheeks raise and eyes slightly close to reveal a cute innocent persona. It is not smile of overwhleming laughter but one of a happiness that only be expressed by a simple smile.
We walk further into the crowd and are pushed closer and closer together,it was awkward. We walk further down those same aged red and white stones and reach a festival that only venice celebrates. The lights of the festival wink and tickle your senses. They glowed more radiant then the sky itself on the clearest of nights. We look at each toher and do not speak but relay the message that the ferris wheel, situated right i the middle of the festival, is the place to be.
We walk together and stop at the booth, buy the tickets, wait twenty minutes in the never ending line, and board the small heart shaped carriage of the ferris wheel. We enter and have nothing to say.
I finally think of words to say and that is when she stands up from the seat, at this point our carriage has already reached the top, she come close to me our faces as near as possible without kissing. I swallow my courage and , will admit, i was nervous. This secenario had run through my head more then once but never expected it to be true until this moment. I look at her, her face still has that innocent smile and cute persona but i cant resist smiling. I ready for a kiss and then she utters these words:"dude my a** hurt from these seats, can you move?"
Skreemin · Tue Sep 26, 2006 @ 07:13am · 1 Comments |
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ok im taking a rest from my wolfwing stories so yeah sorry sweatdrop
"pits"
it was a cold foggy morning and i had just woken up from bed.I pull the sheets and standup slipping my feet into some slippers that ly next to my bed.
"damn i still havent done my homework"i scrtach the back of my head and yawn a large yawn. My eyes half closed and hair in a mess i walk into the bathroom. The tiles were white with blue diamonds in the middle and the mirror only let me see from the top of my head to my chest. The faucet turns on and i wash my face, cupping my hands and dipping them into the water i clean my face. The cold water sent a tingle down my back but atleeast i was awake now. The faucet turns again and the water turns off.
The phone rings and i bend back looking out the door at my cell."crap"i think i finish peeing and hastily walk to the phone, my slippers shuffled against the brown short carpet. The carpet wasnt the cleanest and had paper on it from the work i had done yesterday but atleast i could walk without tripping
"hello?" someone asks from the other line of the phone
"what who is this?"i ask since i was still to tired to check the caller ID
"dude bring me the book"the voice commanded a bit impatient
"it is six a clock in the morning school hasnt started yet" "so i want to borrow the book" "your lucky im even letting you borrow them" "yeah whatever"the voice angrily hangs up
i close the phone and put it back in it's charger
about twenty minutes pass and im done dressing. I put on some black jeans and black vans with white trim, a plain balck shirt was all i needed since i didnt plan on staying in school that long. With a quick swipe i grab my backpack and head out the door sloppily, i was still a bit sleepy since i stayed up late last night.
im on the sidewalk and im barely awake, i shake my head."OK wake up im up waking up"i mutter to myself and with each word i slightly slap myself. My left cheeck turned red and i was rubbing it instead of slapping it now,the pain had my senses in a rage and i was awake now.
I stop."Wait"i think and i look down at my shoes"when did i wash these pants?"i questioned since last night they had a big white stain on then from painting."and when did i get these shoes?"i looked at them and realized they werent mine neither was the backpack or the shirt i had becuase i didnt own any plain back shirts"what the ******** is going on?" i run back to where i had come from and dropped my supposed backpack"this isnt my house"i whisper and cover my mouth with my left hand,my eyes were wide open and full of a terrifying confusion that could drive someone crazy
i walk down the street glancing up at the people that passed by each one giving me angry looks.i hug myself from the cold and look up at the sky"why is it so cold?"i shiver and sit down on the curb the sun was bright and there wasnt a cloud in sight. It shouldn't be this cold and yet with each breath i could see the vapor rising.
"ok ok ok think think"i rock back and forth each one more dramatic then the other until finally i fall on my back.
i catch myself before falling by putting my hands down but when it comes time for me to stand i cant seem to unglue my hands.
i try and force myself up but cant move. with every tug my shoulder aches more and more"whats going on"i scream at the sky only to find that everyone on the street had already left
Im sucked in a sort of tar pit that formed under my hands.It was black and cold, colder than i had ever felt."NO"i say shaking my head in desperation only to be sucked in to the growing pit.
My head went in first but it wasnt a drowning feeling i felt it was a type of breathing. The farther in i went the more simple life got and the more relaxed my body became.
I hadnt noticed it but i had died in my sleep.....
damn that was some good stuff..........i know "more details!" but im lazy so you will just have to wait...........if you want to check out more of my stories look at my journal..........oh and send this to your friends(if you want) so word gets out about my strories.....there is no reason in writing them if no one is going to read it.......
Skreemin · Mon Sep 25, 2006 @ 03:18am · 3 Comments |
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`~part 2~`
Dementra laid on the floor sobbing for about three days the shock of knowing she died had never really went away.She would keep having flash backs of what had happened.It was a rather cold dark night and she was nothing more that a miners daughter but she did enjoy drawing so, she would go into the woods and draw the leaves falling from trees and the squirrels saving their acorns.That night her father had come back drunk something rare but still nonetheless bad, she propped him up on his bed to try and make him sleep but afer each try he would get more and more violent"why dont you just leave"he would say"there is no life for you here"he continued to insult her saying how worthless her family was and how worthless she was. After about an hour or so of it she decided to go back into the woods where she would usually paint, she knew what was in the woods but she figured it would never happen to her.
"What the hell, i have never seen him like that"she says as she covers her self with her jacket and moves hair from the side of her face"it is cold out here....."she turns only to see that the path that she usually walked was now covered in trees.These didnt look as though they were normal tree the canopy of the forest had suddely become black and distant even though there was enough light on the floor to see where you were walking.With a crack of a twig she quickly started running not becuase she saw something but just out of pure panic.She gave a quick turn and saw something that immedietly through her into worse of hystarical panic then she was aleady in.She saw a dark type of smoke rush past the tree that were now dead and grey with terror.with every step she took it seemed as she could feel somthing gaining on her but she didnt dare look back.She kept running on the wet winter ground, leaves still wet from the rain shower that took place the other day flying through the air hiting her face and at moments covering her eyes.Her hair would occasionally get stuck on branches but she kept running no matter how much hair was pulled and in one quick action she decided to hide in a hollow tree her dark jacket over her trying to conceal her from what she saw
"hey what you doing in there" said a man wih light green clothing like that of the areas lumberjacks"there is some kind of ..of ........thing out there"she says as she points back to the road and shakes from her panic"all that is down there is an old cat"he says as he looks into the tree slightly hunched over with his hand on his knees"what?!"she asks in relief and looks out.She gives a big sigh and holds the mans arm as she comes out"thank you for your..........."she stops in the middle of her sentence not able to breathe and a warm type of eery feeling came down her neck"what? what?!"she asks aks a she feels her neck and then takes a few steps back in horror from the blood that was on her hands.She walks backwards hitting the tree and sliding down on it into a seated position"well you are pretty thing arent you"says the man in the light green clothe like the areas lumberjacks"what a waste"he says as he cleans the blood from his fangs and mouth.He looks back at her with her eyes now turning a dark black and skin an off white color"dont worry it only hurts for a little bit"he says as he plays with her blonde hair and feels the side of her her face running her fingers around her lips"well you are pretty little thing arent you"he says as he seems to become entranced with her .He makes a quick slit in his wrist and makes her drink his blood"well now you will be mine"he says as he grins and chuckles deviously at her.She grabs the nearest thing, a dug up root breaking it and jamming it through his heart"no i will not"she says as she twist the piece of wood pushing it in until exited through the other side of his body......................... ((wait to see what happens next))
Skreemin · Mon Aug 21, 2006 @ 05:53pm · 5 Comments |
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Bleeding and a bit battered the werewolf prince stands tall taking hit after hit to show he is his fathers son"i wont waiver i..."he cringes from the pain for a second"will become king!"he says as his father stands from the alter.
Im sure you are trying to piece together whats happening but its not what you think.This is the royal crowning ceremony for a new prince.You see about oh, lets say fifty year ago the werewolf king met his only love, a vampire known as dementra.
She had beautiful flowing silver, hair skin like a porcelain doll,the body of a goddess,an intelligence beyond that of any being, and a fierce competitive side.The werewolf king and dementra met one night hunting in the woods the werewolf king would slowly stalk and follow her watching her every step for hours on end until one night after about a few weeks of this dementra grew tired of his antics"what do you want wolf"she asks him"how did you know i was here"he says as he stands on his hind legs"i sensed you for quite some time and i have grown tired of these sharades so do please tell why have you been following for so long?"she asks him as she prepared daggers under her long black and dark purple dress"well i have noticed that you come to this forest everyday and yet you dont hunt you jsut walk"he says inquisitively"its no matter of yours lycan i would suggest you just leave"she says as a quick tear runs down her cheek"this is where you died isnt it"he says as he gets a bit closer.
She turns with sorrow filled eyes a tear ran down her right cheek and she covered her face with her hands"you know nothing go away" she says with diffculty from her tears"i know more than you think but you can not stay here"he says to her as he now stands up right slowly reverting to his human form"i will do as i wish i am a vampire ill kill you if you dont leave"she says her daggers now showing"a vampire?! you havent even been bit for more than a year you have no power"he says as he extends his claws but does not return to his wolf form"i should just kill you here it wouldnt be a bother to me"he says as he stands sidewyas to her.
In a rage she quickly charges him daggers in hand she swiped at him full force with her face down not showing her eyes.The werewolf king qickly blocked each hit with one claw one after another sparks went flying from each hit as they hit the floor setting small fires on the dead leaves"stop! stop!"he yells but she dosnt and keeps attacking him.He quickly turns her around and puts her in an arm hold"dont be stupid girl you dont even....."he stops talking for a second as she sees her crying uncontrollably"i didnt want to die"she falls to her knees and looks at the sky as she sheds every tear"i didnt want to die!!!"she screams again pounding her hands on the floor leaving imprints from the force"i dont want to see you here again this is my land and you will not trespass, next time i will kill you"he says as he starts to walk away his eyes glowing deep silver.She takes the fedal position crying her eyes out murmuring to her self that she didnt want ot die again and again............
((ill right more depending on the kinds of comments i get))
Skreemin · Mon Aug 21, 2006 @ 04:35am · 9 Comments |
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