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Mood : Happy Smile Hello!

I'm in a very good mood today for some reason! Not sure why, but it could be because I finally got on Gaia for the first time since... well, since my last Journal entry. My AOL parental controls had been kicked up a notch or something I suppose, and with AOL as my only way to access Gaia, I had no choice but to stay off it.

What a wonderfully happy surprise when I'm suddenly able to get back on. And I found a friend of mine had left me a flower crown as well as gotten me Spirited Socks while I'd been gone, which was very nice of him! I appreciate it very much if you're reading this!

My friend Yashi told me yesterday that if I'm able to she and I should go somewhere. She hasn't told me where yet, but she hinted that it has something to do with animals. I'm very curious, and she is far too kind!

On a completely random note, I miss seeing Ian in the Barton Botique. Not that Rufus isn't cute - he's just not as cute as Ian.

Mood : Facing the Pain

Father was still sick somewhat, so I was bringing him a drink. Of course, I'm such an idiot, I brought him the wrong drink because I'm clutzy and a fool. I got him angry again, and he threw the cup at my face.

It broke, and cut me. I have a really long and deep cut from the top of my eyebrow, over my eye, and down to the corner of my mouth. It did miss my eye because I blinked, but it was so deep Yashi had to stitch it up. She has a lot of medical training so she was able to take care of it without much incident. I owe her so much.

It hurts every time I sneeze, which I do since I'm sick myself, so that's very uncomfortable... and it starts bleeding at random times, so that is troublesome.

But! I learned my lesson, I won't get the wrong drink again. See? I'm good, I can learn. I hope he's not still mad at me...

Edit : I inconvenienced Yashi again. She said it wasn't any problem, but I needed the stitches taken out too. I feel so bad for causing her so much trouble all the time.

Mood : Worried

My father caught some sort of virus or flu a few days ago, and is so far showing no signs of improvement. His whole body aches and he's plagued by fevers and massive headaches. It also seems he can't keep his food down, which isn't helping him recover.

I don't have any money so I can't go to the pharmacy for something stronger than Asprin and that Tylenol that helps you sleep through the night, which is all we have. It's been several nights since I've slept properly because he keeps waking up, and I have spider bites all over my body from taking naps on the floor next to his bed.

I wonder if he'll get better soon.

Mood : Interrupted

I went to a bookstore several days ago, because I ran out of things to read. I did what I usually do - grab a book from the fantasy section and curl up in my favourite chair. My selection this time was a large papaerback, and I was very absorbed in it. But before long school let out for the high schoolers and, as always, they come to the bookstore.

If anyone else enjoys books, perhaps you've noticed that people come to the bookstore to hang out, and not to read. I fear I'm sounding like an old man, but they're really very loud and irritating. Not surprisingly it's hard to read when there are people running up and down the isle and talking loudly.

I asked them if they wouldn't mind keeping it down somewhat, and they just started to make fun of me for being a book nerd. What's wrong with liking books anyway? Then they got even more annoying, and I eventually left when one of the boys 'accidently' spilt his drink in my lap.

There shouldn't be a Starbucks in our bookstore anyway.

Mood : Manic depressive

I've been having more and more problems with my father lately. I just can't seem to keep him happy, no matter what I try to do. I really don't want to get him angry at me, I don't want anyone mad at me, but least of all the last member of my family who will deal with me.

I'd appreciate any sudgestions on not getting on parent's bad sides, really. It's exhausting, walking on pins and needles with everyone I talk to for worry that they'll judge me and get mad. I'm tired of doing my best in every way, working and struggling. And yet I don't change my behaviour, because, if I do, I just know that no one will want me anymore. I need to be useful.

No one wants a useless child, after all.

Mood : Pondering

I don't have a lot of friends. I'm the type to have one or two really close ones, and that's it. So, my best friend is a girl named Yashi who I have known for some time now and feel like I can share everything with. She might be considered a tomboy because she's very tough and masculine for a girl, though she hates conforming to labels.

I bring her up because of something a male friend of mine told me. He mentioned that a girl being my best friend was slightly abnormal. Is it really that unusual? I don't think it matters whether she is a girl or a boy, because she's the one I trust. I'd still trust her with a knife to my throat if she were a boy, so what difference does it make?

She's so kind and caring and fun to be around, I can't just think of her as any other girl I know. And she most certainly is not a boy (no matter how much she may wish she were).

She's just... a Yashi. My Yashi. My best friend.

Mood : Short (Is short a mood?)

It occurred to me today, how incredibly short I am. I've always known that I'm on the small side for a sixteen year old boy, but in a crowd today I came up to maybe the level of everyone's ribs. The day-by-day hazards of being four foot eleven and a half. You know what? I'm five feet now, that's too hard to type.

So, in the crowd, I was trampled and kicked around. If they'd wanted to, they could have stepped on me.

That's why walking around downtown Chicago is a danger to anyone under 5'6".

Mood : Relieved

I haven't been able to post an entry in a while because of family problems. My father nearly lost custody of me in a court case, and I was worried they would take me away. They did for a little bit, but I'm very glad to be back. It's been a long month.

The lawyer presented to my father's side of the case said it was a very unlikely thing that I'd be permitted to continue to reside with him. A one in ten chance was her estimate. But several arguments later she had the other court officials in the palm of her hand and willing to give my father a chance.

Words cannot express how happy I am to be home.

Mood : Broken

I'm not sure how I managed to survive until this morning with my sleeplessness, but I evidently found something to occupy myself with. The only problem is, I came down off whatever was keeping me awake, and now I'm crashed.

Like a computer that's been on too long, I'm lagging... a broken object without a repair shop. Need sleep, yet I'm still not tired, just sort of fried. Liam's good with machines, maybe he could fix me.

...that did not come out like I intended it to...