&_& What's going on today, I wonder...
~Candle In The Dark~
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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2006 @ 04:21pm
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Yes well, I am back for a short time. I was hoping to have something written so that I could put it here but I haven't done it yet. I am either too lazy or always busy. I still feel...sad, but not in a way that I used to. This time its happy, and yes it sounds wierd, but trust me, its possible. At least now I know and can stop waiting, but patience stays with me and I have unfailing hope. I will not hope in a manner that might hinder me, but long-term hope is perpetual. I may sound stupid and as if I make no sense whatsoever, but to me it makes perfect sense. I've been trying to let go for a long time and I never seem able to. There was a short time when I did and I understood that it was no more, but undieing hope replaced the truth. Since then I've been trapped in myself, knowing what needs to be done but being so stubborn that I don't. I know why it is; it's because over these years, I have come to think of her as forever changing. In the beginning she was someone who held steadfastly to her beliefs, then this happened and she began changing. She changed her mind and so when she told me something I realized it to be true for that moment only and that sometime in the future she would reconsider what she had said. It was not because she was this unyeilding person, its because thats how I chose to see her. Now everything is different. I don't know if I finally see her the way I ought, but I am closer than in the beginning. As soon as I can I will get back on and clear all this up because, even for me there is a great deal of confusion. Ciao.
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Posted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 @ 02:35am
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u.u Not much to say...the same thing as always...but she knows I'd wait forever, or at least I hope she knows. She doesn't know why we love her so much, but there's no way to describe it. Just like she says there's no word to describe true love, I can't find words eloquent and moving enought to attempt it. She asked me that before she wrote me the note...all I can say is that I think she is beautiful, smart, caring, thoughtful, wise, a great writer, and overly concerned with her body, lol. I hope she reads this and it makes her smile...I don't like seeing her unhappy. Well, I guess I'll leave the world to their thoughts.
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~Candle In The Dark~
Community Member
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~Candle In The Dark~
Community Member
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Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 @ 05:11am
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Hm, nothing's changed, I see. Things in my life are somewhat different, however. My gf broke up with me to be with another friend, but I don't hate her or him, I'm just indifferently unhappy. Not because I did not love her, I did very much and so I still do, but I realize there is nothing I can do to change it. I feel as though I've been reunited with a part of me I haven't seen for a while. The single, free, fun part of me has stretched her wings and is taking feeble steps toward returning to the air. Something in me is changing, to something new, I believe. We can never truly become who we once were after any length of time has passed. And so, inevitably, everything must change. To good or bad is our decision. We make what we will of what life gives us. How one deals with it affects how one views it. But one must learn to give and to take fairly. And I was thinking the other day about what you said, that absence does NOT make the heart grow fonder, and I believe you are right. It doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it heightens our appreciation for what we have. I must go but I hope that you will read this and not think me stupid for agreeing with you yet again. Au revior.
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