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12/27/12

Hello everyone! Welcome to BrightEyes Blog again! It's been almost a couple weeks since I posted anything.

We survived the so-called end of the world and got to enjoy Christmas as well. Praise God!

So, life has it's ups and downs, right? Yea, at times we get those slopes. Me, I began to slip between last night and this morning. For the past week my anxiety has grown (normally it gets bad over the holidays) as well as my faith. Shame on me for sure. I was doing so great until a couple nights (Christmas eve and Christmas day), of course the two days out of the year I should be praising God and celebrating the birth of Jesus as I planned, things changed and happened and I couldn't get my prayers in let alone read many if any scriptures. This made me sad a bit and I've noticed since that things have been bumpy.

Of course, I am beginning to get back into the habit. Tried to at least, and still am pursuing my goals. Besides the downs in faith, another down has occurred in me and has brought me down and triggered my anxiety to make me worse.

The loss of friends really hit me hard or at least flared my anxiety internally early when I was responding to a couple threads last night. I really don't know why, because I was doing good, but I guess stirring up even the slightest bit of what happened even though it's been 2-4 months of losing all 3 friends that it just emotionally upset me. No, I didn't cry, but the remembering even of how long it's been since things were bad triggers it. To me, it's a sign thus far that God wants me to not look back, even right now I should be focused on what's happening now and how to reach my goals ahead. I plan on praying more about it before I head to bed soon actually.

I mean, I know I can be sensitive, but I really don't want my easily triggered anxiety to control my whole life. But, at the same time, I will admit, maybe that was a bit reverting. God got those people out of my life for a reason as well as letting them stay for the time they did. From their experiences I've grown stronger and honestly, I'm happier now. It's time to look forward. I've just got to try harder to get those people out of my mind.

I pray God helps me through this. I know He will, for He is always there and He hears me. I have faith in Him and pray.

God Bless!