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ROLFlakes! The Cereal for Health Nuts! |
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Do you know how many bowls of "Total" you would have to eat to get the same amount of vitamins found in ROLFlakes? It would take over 30,000 bowls of "Total" to get the equal amount of vitamins in ROLFlakes! ROLFlakes is already a balanced breakfast since it has everything you find on the breakfast table, only in Flake Form. Eggs, Bacon, Buttered Toast, Orange Juice, Milk... Everything a growing kid needs, plus hundreds of vitamins. Plus in every box, you'll get a free sheet of tin, and a diagram on how to make your own Tin Hat to protect you, when the government trys to read your thoughts!
Disclosure: This cereal is not intended to be eaten all at once. One bowl will last you a little over 82 years, and a second dosage is not suggested, for you will encounter side effects. Side effects include: vomiting, diaherra, a**l leakage, vertigo, swelling of senstive areas, burning, itching, slurred speech, amnesia, seizures, psychosis, and death. More than one side effect is common to occur. Tell your doctor immediately if you have eaten more than one bowl, or call poison control. Do not induce vomiting. Do not take this with Alcohol or Anti-hystemines. Includes traces of peanuts, milk, LSD, PCP, and strange illuminating mushrooms found on an asteroid that fell to earth and landed in a toxic waste dump.
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