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Awhile ago there was a topic in Extended Discussion asking people if they thought they were racist.

Now, there are not many people (even blatantly racist people) who think that they are racist. And that thread kinda drove that fact home to me.

So, I decided to be extremely honest. I mentioned that yes I am racist. Because I am. And I stated the reasoning for my believing that I am racist:

"I'm more worried about a African or Aboriginal mugging me than I am a white person.

I'm less likely to give money to an Aboriginal who asks for it on the street because I figure they'll just go buy alcohol (however, I will buy him/her a sandwich and a coffee.) Actually... That one applies to every race, but my community is dominated by Aboriginals so I'm still counting it.

Half my jokes with two of my friends have 'Because you're Asian!' after a humerous acusation. They're both Aboriginal.

And considered racist by popular vote: I don't think that Aboriginal awareness week, or Black Pride month (or whatever the hell it's called) should exist. I find that the fact that they are around but there is no White Pride celebration of any kind extremely offensive. That people have advocated against it is racist, and oppresive. (And for anyone who finds my mention of this offensive? I don't particularly care what you think. I have the lightbulb, telephone and penicillian to be proud of in my herritage, we don't have just horrific and oppressive things to be proud of. So suck it.)"

And just this last week I came out with a beauty of a joke. And it was more racist than anything I've ever come up with. There is a small backstory to the joke, and later in a retelling I expanded on it quite a bit.


I work in a grocery store with various departments. We have 'colour coded' aprons for each department, and mine even asks that we wear all black for uniforms.

One day, while the manager and I were working, an aborigonal gentleman approached and mentioned that he'd seen a sign for our store that we are hireing. He inquired about what positions were available, which because of overturn rates, was (and still is) pretty much every department. He was excited to hear that the bakery was hireing as well because apparently he's good at that. But then asked if 'Certain positions were available to certain people.' His words, not mine.

We were confused and since he couldn't seem to phrase the question any other way he just took a resume and left. And after I couldn't help but try to figure out what he was trying to ask. Was it a sexual question, such as 'Can only women work in the bakery?'

But that still sounded off. So, speaking this whole thought process out loud to my manager, I wondered if it was maybe a question of skin colour. And then proceeded the joke:

Me: Yeah, if it were a racist thing, only white chicks would be allowed to work in our department.
Manager: Why?
Me: Because we look better in black.
Manager (laughing): That's so ******** racist!

Me: Of course that means that the Italians would have to work meats...
Manager: ...Why?
Me: Because it's closest to the pasta section.

Me: And Ukranians would have to be in the Bakery...
Manager: Hey I'm Ukranian!
Me: So when are you switching departments?

And later I finished nameing what culture, or subculture, should work where:

Afircans, Chinese, and Aborigonals were in the back rooms.

I believe I had 'assigned' Indians (as in the people from India) to customer service, and by extention; tills.

The Irish were in produce. Because that's where the potatoes are. (I am Irish, I can make that joke. The others I'll accept flack for.)

And last but not least (ha); Jews should work deli. Why not the accountants that I never see around anyway? Because they are a Culture that encompases people from around the world. There are African Jews, and Irish Jews, and all sorts of different looking Jews. If you've been to a shoping store deli, and put any thought at all into the origin of those foods.... You'd know that Jews are one of the few groups that could work there and somewhere in that group of people... There's a person for each food.



And that, is why I think I am racist. I not only tolerate those thoughts going through my head, but entertain them for days and laugh about it. Then repeat it to many people, and spew it all over the internet.

That being said though. If my 'idea' of where people 'should' work were actually be implemented. Though I would still laugh, it would only be because people are being so stupid that I must either laugh, or start shooting them. Probably in the face.

I ******** hate wearing all black.