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too much wanted stuffs in gaia... but too little gold... crying

too much games want to play online... but too little time... sad

i miss him... confused

i feel cold... wahmbulance

i want him... heart

sweet corn is with me... whee

it has been a long long time i didn't use gaia... and a few days before... i suddenly want to check on stuffs... so i got on and saw the gaia event for halloween... it went on for a few days already and i got curious... and YAY!!! could choose to be a vampire... and i love to be a vampire... so i became one... and a few days of intense battle... i finally became an elder... and then got all the stuffs... my points ended up in 523... not bad... i really had fun... but i really am curious about the storyline of the whole thing... really will miss it... go around and attack people... is fun... can't do that in real life... could do it online also nice? i never thought to be human... if i did... i could get the ghost cape... why i was that stupid...? eww... but really... i had fun... it's late now... i guess i should sleep... tomorrow i have to work... which is suck... cry

i really have to say i am so weird... nine months of relationship... although i did alot of things for him... but at the same time... i did alot of mean things to him as well... i dunno why... just... meant to hurt... i hate it when he neglects me... then i'll just do weird things because i mad at him for that... sorta revenge... but he never knows... never bother to know anyway... why is that when two people sick... the way they treat their lover still could be so different...? am i asking too much from him...? just someone who care for me no matter what's the situation... he's making feel like... he is the kind of person will leave you when problems come... i want to say this... i tried to improve how frank i should be to him... work so hard... but there are things i found hard to express it out... i just wish i wouldn't revenge on his neglect... i'm tired... and i know he is tired... without knowing anything... i do love him... i just don't have any faith to carry on anymore... we haven't have any chance to talk anyway... but i'll do what i promised... avoid any other guys in my life... no matter we'll carry on or not... i dunno whether i should keep talking to him about that...

i hate how i feel now... cause... i don't even know how i feel now... i just feel... so lost... i don't know why... i do wonder why... all i can do is crying... especially when i'm talking to athrun... i can't hold my tears anymore... but... i have to hide since i don't want my mom and sis worry about me... is it because i miss him too much? i wish i know the reason... but... i don't after all... i feel week... for being too dependent on him... i don't want that to happen... but... i can't do anything about it... i should go now... i can't hold my tears...

somtimes i wondering a lot about myself... my lover... i always wonder... am i really suitable for him? i'm not sure... i know i love him... there is no doubt on that... today... there was a thought in my mind... about... does he really love me because he loves me... or... because i wouldn't toss him away when he was in trouble? i know it might hurt to say this... hurt him... and hurt myself... so... from all the way long... i didn't ask him... well... perhaps is me who thinking too much... but... i rezlize i'm so into him... for this very recently... i spend almost everyday with him... well... until my parents are already complaint about that... adding those problems he has... and... the doubts or fears i have in myself... i guess i should take a break from our relationship... so... i'm going to leave for one weeks... i guess i'm not gonna touch my livejournal... so... i'll just update my gaia journal... i'm not gonna tell him either... i know... after i told him... i wouldn't be able to leave... just give both of us a break... i think we need that... maybe a week... i know is hard to persist this... but... i will try...

emo actually... i'm not sure if love is a good thing... is never something i understand... cause... when i'm in love... mostly... i will do something crazy... or acting abnormally... or... the relationships i was and i am in... is never a normal one... both of them are long distance relationship... the first was with a guy who was about to divorce... a lot older than me... second... a guy... i dunno how to describe... is complicated... i suppose i should just choose to leave...

evil yeah... just like my friendster blog... this is an occassional journal... i don't update it often... especially i didn't get on to gaia for a long time... sweatdrop the gold is low... crying i can't fish... evil geez... ... the reason i got pissed because of the stupid lecturer for my management theories... anyway... i guess it doesn't matter anymore... by the time i finished my livejournal... the anger is gone... i guess i found the lyrics he want... i'm not even sure... and then i found the influential person he wants... bill clinton... the ex america president... so... yeah... fine... cool

exclaim about my life recently... it was okay... i guess... except for the sick i got... crying for almost a week... and the life that gets busier... i have school works... and life... to deal with... crying generally... it was okay... i always wanted to improve my time management... i guess this is a nice chance... xp my love life is actually good... heart i guess i never mention in gaia... but... i fell in love with my best friends... redface our relationship started for two months... we got a lot of issues... sweatdrop and almost break up even... but now... everything is fine... 4laugh i'm happy with him... really happy... at least when i feel miserable... scared or messed... he is the only one could make me smile... whee i love him a lot a lot... he is really a nice person... 3nodding

wahmbulance i guess that's all... at least... i think i should get something to eat... snack... haha... cheese_whine

i got what i want... and... i know how to start my assignment... thanks to wikipedia... xd

so...

bye bye... 4laugh

rolleyes hmm... it has been a long time i haven't update my gaia journal... sweatdrop since... i haven't on to gaia for some times already... a lot of things happened to myself... months ago... i finally broke up with my ex... crying although i already decided... but... sometimes i do miss him alot... i wonder how is he... just hope he will doing fine... and... my school started... feel so bored... all the subjects for the new semester... is so so so so so so bored... the lecturers are bored... everything is bored... i miss my previous semesters... crying haha... anyway... i still can't get the permit to locate my house in barton town... hate that!!! stressed staying at school after school... i haven't do that for a long time already... today's third class was cancel... so... i stayed back with connie in the lab... cool i guess i should go home soon... cause... i'm so so so so tired... xp

talk2hand well well... finally is sunday now... i'm bored... real bored... i never like sunday... cause... if sunday end, it means monday is after that... and... i have to go to school again... crying

well... i am supposed to do the report... for the trip i went with my classes... i hate the crap work... but i have to do... i AM supposed to do... no reason to run away... cry so... after this... i'm going to do...

gaia is really a fun place... and i guess i'm a little TOO into it... this is the crisis... i'm going to have a final exam next week... so... i better try to control myself... self disciplined! remember??? sweatdrop i'm silly...

oh yeah... i got my house at gaia... whee but i guess i'm going to remodel it... since... it's too small... haha... so... i'm outta here...

ja! matane!!! wink