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I never really undertood the term so close yet so far till just right now ...

I have a friend that I think I love. (Not in a manner that s anything more than really good friends)
Problem is I'm loosing her in a really bad way no less.
My best friends grandmother just died ONE ******** DAY AFTER SHE TOLD ME.
Now I have no idea how she feels. No way of knowing. But when I talked to her ... it sounded like part of her soul was missing.
That alone is enough to make me wanna die.
I'm not emo (or at least I try like hell ot not to be)
I'm openly bi-sexual but I'm about 75% sure I'm a flat out lesbian.
My parents don't kow but it seems everyone else does.
I'm a ******** up sexual creature with the abilty to attract attention but I can't keep it.
I even met a girl on here (MorrbiDesire) that I think I could really be with and its been days ince I've written her.
I know she could write me back ... but my self isn;t that high and I'm pretty damn sure she's not that attracted to me physically

Today I just took the time to relaize
something that my eyes
didn't want me to see before
Today I saw the effects of time on love
Two people who shall remain nameless that are very close to me left each other
Now the situation should not be my promblem
Nor should it be any of my concern
But I really don't care because my hearts concers have turned
When he turned and walked out the door his eyes for me turned to stone
Turned to something so cold that it had my mind blown
The relationship I thought would never end, didn't work
One of the the few things I needed to work for my sanity ... broke
Broke me
Broke Down
Broke the home

I played the song that brought me comfort time and time again
and nothing
The tears came anyway
Taking me away
Away from reality
Away from sanity

Not my fault ...
It was already gone ...
Everythings gonna be ok ...

Really?
It just takes time you say
Really?

If it just took TIME then why aren't you together!?
Your love for each other had TIME
When you two where together you had TIME
When the problems started you had TIME
When talked all those times you had TIME
When you were in the hospital you had TIME

WHAT TIME DOES IT TAKE!?

Life is short
And you've used so much of your TIME
So tell me again how things will be ok?

evil But for those of you rat bastards that try to scam people, that's just wrong. I can understand why more people don't give. stressed