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Why the ******** do I feel like a villain? When I see the world as something different than others. When people see a gunman, I see a misunderstood man. When people see a terrorist, I see a ******** freedom fighter, fighting for a better life. When everyone picks on someone and the bystanders side with the aggressor, it makes me feel like I want to beat the aggressor up and then I can see them all staring at me like I'm insane. Which has never happened.
With all these things going on, I feel like I'm the only one who wonders from the 'bad' guy's perspective. No human being wakes up one random morning and decides to kill thirty three random people and then himself.
No human being wakes up one morning and decides to stick a bomb to his or even her chest and blow it up in the middle of a marketplace.
"Gunman's rant.", "Killer Revealed", "Terrorist!" I don't get it.
Someone please tell me I'm still sane.
With all these media reports on all these things where I wonder and sometimes mourn for the villains of the stories. I never get to hear the terrorist's side of the story. Or the gunman's. It's always the victims. Screw that. Everyone should be considered a victim. The terrorist fights against their government for a better world. Whether it's more freedom or just some more God damn attention for their faith. The Columbine and VT, products of bullying gone too far. With the right kids, people can go insane after being picked on for being different and thus start something cruel.
With views like these that seem to go against the titles of: Killer and Terrorist. Why do I feel like the villain?
 Difahrint · Wed Apr 18, 2007 @ 06:45am · 1 Comments |
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Alright, just when I thought life was going uneventful, it turns out I do in fact have problems of my own. That's when I start going, "Now I actually have my life back." I have my own problems to deal with...but other than that, it's time for a bitchy rant before this one, like most others, slip my mind.
Prejudice
It's ******** everywhere...even on Gaia, gee you'd think with all these people around the world they'd be online too. neutral
Most often I see religious freaks, I have no clue what it is but it's like they keep on converting faster than we Asians breed. Which is pretty ******** insane..speaking of which...
Japan has the lowest sex rate in the world! You'd think they'd have a pretty good one...but guess not. Maybe it has something to do with all those kinky things they have there...I've been there once...all they had in the hotel was sex channels...two in fact. And that's it. It was a Marriot hotel. neutral
OTHER THAN THAT! Prejudice...I don't get it, people seem to think that being different is wrong. Whether it's just being really fat or having some different beleif system. I don't know...I'm just going to move onto my life.
So, school is giving me problems, mainly because I slacked off...I'm having a dillemma in my love life. This guy at school is bugging every one of my friends and bunch of other problems individuals have that I want to help with so I know everyone is okay so I can sleep better at night as usual but I know I have to figure out my own problems. But most of you know already in detail what's going on...those who haven't, like Shawna should read this and ask any questions you have later. You'd think my problems usually come in the summer time, guess they came early. neutral
Difahrint · Mon Mar 26, 2007 @ 03:07am · 0 Comments |
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...I've been having wierd thoughts lately, about lots of stuff but the main thing is that for some reason I have the same feeling as living in the east side of Vancouver which is known to be the worst place for no matter who you are. I feel like really beating the crap out of people and finish up thigns there, because there are lots of things that I just left behind there that keep annoying me in my head. I've gotten plenty of both mental and physical scars and I'am getting the same erie feeling as I got from there and there's this one small joke that everyone said there...one would go, "Go to hell." the other would go, "We already are." and we'd all just laugh. It was a tough place and I was tough there but after I moved here, farther away from there I think I got softer...skinnier too.
Aside from all that, I'am going tomorrow to Garibaldi, my old more welcoming highschool to see if they could take me back even though we called the school. I'am being prepared to answear a lot of certain questions and preparing to answear a few of my own. Which is nerve-wracking for me. So far I told lots of people on what's going on with that and the main reason for why I wanna move back here, to a local school is because I miss home. Most of you who coud be reading this live deep in a city and probably don't understand but there's this big hill just behind my backyard and you can sit up there and just at the right time then you can see the sun set and then go down behind some trees. Momments after that you can just look up and you can look up at the stars, not all of them but the common consetllations and whatnot. I look up at the sky from my cousin's place and then I go, "Wait, I'am not back home." And last time I was here was two weeks ago, so two weeks without that and then you start to feel a bit of sorrow. Back in the Phillipines is even better! At my mom's home island you can go to the beach at night and then look up and you can see just as much stars! But I usually forget since every night is BBQ night. On every street you can smell and see BBQ. BBQ chicken, pork, beef, chicken skin, geezard, hell we even fry banana in those spring roll wrappings and slap on some BBQ sauce. It's great.
Now! Going back to current stuff...oh yeah, I think that's it, everyone's making a big deal out of me wanting to move out of the private school EVERYONE wants to get into while I'am trying to get out of it though. Now I'am finishing this entry off...I'll write up again next weekend, hopefully.
Difahrint · Tue Oct 10, 2006 @ 05:27am · 1 Comments |
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...I'am under preassure, it's only the begining of the school year and there's already a handfull of personal or otherwise sorts of problems. Not going to type it all out in my journal, just one of those things where I pick those certain people and talk to them about it...
Difahrint · Tue Oct 03, 2006 @ 01:42am · 0 Comments |
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I've been having lots of wierd thoughts lately...mostly on who I'am ever since we started this project at school called, "Who Am I?" I'am wondering more and more about it. People see me as a leader...but all along I'am a social outcast. I've led a bunch of stuff before succesfully but still, I don't...get that many friends and I'am often looked down on, even from my relatives or my parents. Even at this new school, I'am getting regrets...I've found out I would've been better at the public school...socially and educatationally...what really bugs me is the big question, "Who am I?" And I'am going insane. I haven't exactly found a place for me, I guess.
Difahrint · Fri Sep 15, 2006 @ 08:07pm · 1 Comments |
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This week was just as interesting as last week, we have a three day weekend and we've done absoloutly nothing in most of my classes but talking. Social Studies and English, a bit of homework and talking. Marketing, just plain talking and one worksheet. Religion, two easy asignments and one project where I get to bug and interrogate my parents about all the stuffs they never told me about. Peer Tutoring, basicly help kids.
Art! Ooo, we're starting our art portfolio and I'am drawing a chinese monk, an arabian warrior, a knight and a samurai in a band and my cousin looked at my sketches for it and he was like, "That's crazy!" Andandand the knight and the arabian guy are the guys really rockin' it out...going to have the arab putting his hand up with the "Rock on!" sign. 3nodding
Then science is really easy, it's just questions you think about...and we're doing a collage about technology...because it's the Science and Technology course...absoloutly no math and no hard thinking and Mr. Kozak, our teacher showed us pictures from a previous field trip we're going to and it's this mine, 1 mile deep underground and you can stare at the hole at the ground leading to the mine andandand the trucks are huuuge! I mean the wheels are bigger than two...maybe FOUR emo kids. And John keeps talking about his 'mini-psp' in the class...it's really just one of those XBOX thingies you find in a cereal box and he's saying stuff like, "400 gigs, HDTV, wi-fi, bluetooth!" And is funny along with Mr. Kozak's pokemon keychain on the side of his pants, yes our teacher keeps a pokemon with his keychain.
And in math we've done absoloutly nothing....I mean sure for the first little bit, it was notes and criteria but it's like REALLY SIMPLE math.
And for the most eventful day...today was exhilirating. It's a short day, had two blocks where we've done absoloutly nothing but talk...my marketing teacher is scawy...she's talking about how the class works in a metaphor, basicly it's a ship, we're the sailors and she's the captain, we do our work and we get fed marks. Otherwise, we walk the plank! DUN DUN DUNNN!!! Meaning we walk out of the class...and then we chant the Jaws theme song!
Then we had mass and holy ******** was it long, it was the longest mass I've ever been to...sure it was celebrating the 25th year but it was loooong, at least the music was spiritually lifting like sends shivers through my body and I think I was about to cry from the awesomeness of the songs. I'am not turning Christian, I'am just admiring the songs. For some reason it got really cramped in our seating area after a while...like I had no space to move it was wierd.
Aaaafter some friends and I went out, leaving my cousin behind, we went to Pizza hut! We had a long talk about what we were going to get and this lady who was a friend of Roberto was talking to us too about junk...so after about ten minutes of figuring out what we wanted we had our pizzas! I had like three slices and Roberto most likely had more and Alex and Mara had more too. [Oh, Roberto is my cousin's bestfriend, Alex is in fact a girl who is going out with Roberto and Mara, who I call hobbit is a girl too...me and my cousin pick on her...I think everyone thinks I like her.] After two slices of pizza and a few songs on my ipod, Malcom[my cousin] caught up with us and he had is angry face like something happened we asked if he was okay and he was...I don't think anyone else thinks so though. Luckily knowing Malcom, he bought his own drink and just had two slices of pizza, which isn't usually him, he usually swallows the whole thing or something...at parties, he'll make a mountain of food on his plate, yeah, he eats a lot.
After moments of stupidity, laughter and eating our lunch we went to the dollar store! Malcom went ahead and we spent twenty minutes at the dollar store because the girls were trying to figure out which headband they wanted to buy, they were pretty damn cute too...eventually we decided to buy all of them because Malcom called us several times with his angry voice so then we head outside and start walking down this small street behind some houses and all of a sudden we hear thunder and this lightning bolt comes crashing down behind us while a car comes our way, I turn around and the first thing I see from the corner of my eye is this lightning bolt forming from the sky, a flash, I turn around and I see Roberto not even caring for Alex. xD Eventually we come back to school and I get picked up by Malcom and my auntie. I'am still grasping the fact that one out of four of us could be dead right now but...it's a long weekend. domokun
Difahrint · Thu Sep 14, 2006 @ 11:13pm · 0 Comments |
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First Week of Private School |
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...Okie dokie, as I PMed to everybodeh in my friend's list here it is, my first week in a private school with my cousin. First day, I meet up with everybody and my cousin is a really populuar kid at this school...even the Principle has him on his list and when he looked at our group he just shook his head as if he was going, "First him, now he has a cousin... gonk " It was great. xd
So what if the school doesn't have a cafeteria and I have to wear khakis and polo shirts, tucked in?It's a pretty okay school, my socials teacher is pretty and my art teach is pretty hot...both being young. The first day is basicly just an orientation of all the classes, all my teachers are pretty interesting, same with the fellow students and this was the day we took our school photos, here is where I saw one big difference between public and private schools, this group in front of me teases this kid, suposedly their friend and they go something like this:
"Yo, your momma is fat!"
"******** you! Your mom is fat!"
Then after a series of cussing and stuffs they laugh and move on as if it was a n**** moment where no one died.[ Refer to Boondocks ] now that was a public school, here's the private school...
"Hey, your mom is fat!"
"Yeah well your mom is bigger than EUROPE!"
"Well...YOUR mom is bigger than POLAND!"
"YEAH! BIGGER THAN EUROPE!"
"POLAND!"
"EUROPE!"
"POLAND!"
And go on for a few more momments, laugh and then shake hands and go on the merrily little way....
Yeah, I pretty much knew it was going to be pretty wierd at that point...
Third day was the starting of the next four set of classes...morning, peer tutoring, I basicly help other kids in lower grades and the lady in charge gives me this girl like, grade nine probably to give her some organization skills and as she's introducing me to her she gives me one of those wierd, "You're cute." stares...kinda playing with her pen in her mouth too...it was wierd, especially when I'am in love with someone else...and no damnit I'am not telling who it is...keeping it a secret now so no one gets involved and gets some opinions on this new girl, going to just wait a while....everyone's busy anyway.
Fourth day was my last day of the week since Monday was labour day and thank God...the only wierd part was the substitute in marketing he's a subtle ***** guy, pot belly, bald head with hair on the side...ugh. That was kinda the highlight of the day...
And my new friends at Holy Cross are pretty cool...Roberto is pretty crazy and so is her girlfriend, Mara is this short little girl who me and my cousin make fun of, he calls her "Little one." and I call her "Hobbit" which isn't as offensive since Hobbits are energetic and like to party. =3 There's a buncha other people too, a few people I haven't seen since I was like...nine too! Vincent, Bea and maybe a few others...other than that there's this really...uhm...entertaining fat kid in a bunch of my classes, John, he's all, "Okay guys, I'am the plastic surgeon, listen to me!" and just goes on and on, really annoying but funny, everyone just points and laughs at him. Especially this one time, we were in this group study where we were in a hypothetical situation, stranded on the moon and we have fifteen items, a few of them being carbon monoxide, two guns and a parchute silk material...all he thinks about is killing ourselves...when we should be finding the mothership at one point he goes, "Okay why don't we take the parachute and jump off the moon and dive into Earth!?" rofl
There's a buncha more that happened but...guess I don't wanna bore anyone, I forgot most of it too...but I've got a feeling this is going to be a fun year.
Difahrint · Sun Sep 10, 2006 @ 09:50am · 0 Comments |
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Putting down some avi art here...
Difahrint · Thu Jun 29, 2006 @ 07:23pm · 0 Comments |
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Today in the life and times of Difahrint,
Right now, I'am finished with grade ten of highschool, leaving two years of highschool which haven't hit me yet. After going to this new school right around the corner I've had a shitload of racisim and white kids not knowing a lot of things about where I'am from and assuming all these things. Yeah, I'am pretty much the Asian kid in a large wall of white kids. But that's boring! In fact the whole year was boring, the most possible interesting thing was debating crap with my english teacher, but I'am leaving this school now and going back to my old school.
I heard there's more Asian kids now so I'll feel more welcome, I was welcome anyway, I was one of those kids where rumours of you would spread like wildfire. Like this onetime, I told my bestfriend I liked this chick, by the next morning the whole school knew and everyone was like, "Oh you like her!?" and my Asian friends were going, "Why are you going out with a white chick!? mad " Yeah. ninja There were other things I've heard that aren't true that I'am not going to share.
There were also good teachers there...like Mr. Xavier, what a good art teacher...loved to bug him. xd I told some friends on msn that I'd be coming back and they told me they were cheering about it.
I'am definatly going back.
In other news, I'am getting a summer job that will pay off for World of Warcraft subscription time whilst I wait for something political to b***h about. I haven't found much but I can find a list of things to b***h about but not enough to talk about and I'am going to summer school for this leadership program, I get full credits and I don't do any schoolwork, it's just doing fun stuff. I was recommended into the program by my english teacher, I think he's really eager to get me in.
And on Gaia...well I've COMPLETELY, ABSOLOUTLY, INDEFINATLY, FINALLY am finished with Maria. Most ******** complicated women I've ever met, swear to God. gonk Tim, Pat and I have also restarted our guild and began a discussion guild. A guild like the GD and the Ed without the stupid, it's working and onto a more personal topic, my love life is just completely messed up...no idea what to do with it. That's my life, updated.
Difahrint · Fri Jun 23, 2006 @ 09:34pm · 0 Comments |
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