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"There's Nothing I Can Do" |
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Well Ryan apparently comes back from Ocean Shores tomorrow and was asking on myspace who wanted to hang out with him when he got back... it says he read my message, but he didn't reply... THIS IS FREAKING KILLING ME INSIDE... there is no way in hell that i'd break up with him, i want him too badly to let him go... the only time i've seen him over the summer is when we happen to be over at Nick's at the same time. [which has happened twice] i just wish that there was something i could do... i try sending him messages, but he never replys... i feel like an idiot. i don't want anyone else, or atleast anyone i know personally. i know if you were in my situation you'd break up with him, but say him not making the effort to see you makes you want him more... cuz you can't have him. what would you do if you wanted someone you already had? yet you don't have at all... i feel like dying right now... he probably thinks i'm annoying or something, or possesive... probably.. i don't mind the fact that he doesn't call me, but at the least he should send me a message everyonce in awhile... or atleast make an effort to hang out with me a few times over the summer.. i'm not THAT busy, come on! the worst part is: he'll hang out with other girls multiple times and won't even hang out with me.. sure he'll make plans, but he never keeps them... i remember one day during the last few weeks of school, Ryan came to visit and i even said to his face "Oh my gosh! he actually showed up! i didn't think you would..." i think all the songs i've been writing about him are getting on his nerve... although i have no idea cuz HE WON'T FREAKING TALK TO ME.... enough ranting... i'll go plot my death now, bye emo
 Ishy Alone · Tue Jul 04, 2006 @ 10:43am · 2 Comments |
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i'm done with Gaia... after this change (a LONG time ago) i'm just flat out done... if you'd like, you can look up my myspace if you have one.. my e-mail address for it (not my screen name) is: Ishy_darkness@yahoo.com. look me up if you want! bye bye everyone!
Ishy Alone · Thu Feb 09, 2006 @ 03:51am · 0 Comments |
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Write whatever you want, what evers troubling you or anything. i'm back in Portland (just to let you know) and i missed most of you. although i would much rather stay on that cruise ship with all my new friends because there was no real drama there. i'm sorry to say it... but it's true. i did miss you guys a lot though! hopefully i'll see some of you before winter break is over! bye bye now!! (i made out with a guy named Josh Musko all night on the 22nd!!! it was under the stars too!!! OMFG!!)
Ishy Alone · Sun Dec 25, 2005 @ 08:19am · 1 Comments |
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ok, so... i have a friend, her name is Jaummy. She has a typical life, with a nice family, good friends, enough money and seems like she'd have a perfect life! well, her brother does drugs, her parents know about it, the money is fading fast and the friends can't help. She has a boyfriend (barely), he says that he doesn't like a girl named Kala, but Jaummy thinks he does because he spends more time with Kala. Her boyfriend flirts with her everyday, leaving Jaummy to wollow in her own self-pitty and die slowly. She makes plans to kiss him because he has given up on her. Everyday she trys and trys to kiss him, Kala telling her to, but then Kala goes off and gets in her way by flirting with Jaummy's boyfriend. Kala makes plans with Jaummy's boyfriend without telling her and Jaummy's boyfriend never spends time with his own girlfriend. Everytime she trys to make plans, he says he has to do something or he just plain can't, then goes off to the mall with Kala or over to his other friends houses. Jaummy on the other hand waits for him to call, waits for him to make plans, trys so hard to make this work and get him to love her. Jaummy is jealous of Kala and all of the other friends her boyfriend hangs out with cuz she never gets to really hang out with him with out being left on the side, unnoticed. telling all her friends her problems, Jaummy feels that no one understands... no one can help her because Kala and Jaummy's boyfriend are in this together... when everyone (and i mean EVERYONE) tells her that she shouldn't be going out with him and should break up with him NOW. All she can do is wish for the best, thinking "maybe tomorrow, maybe tomorrow he'll love me and care for me...". if you have any advice for Jaummy, please send me a message and i'll tell her. hopefully there are some people out there who care... she really doesn't want to spend another day crying in her room.
Ishy Alone · Sun Nov 20, 2005 @ 06:26am · 3 Comments |
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well... let's just say that Josh Logan is trying so hard to make me cry.... seems all he wants now is Kayla... Zach, can you call me sometime? if you ever read this... i really need to talk to you. you seem like someone that would understand what i'm going though or atleast could help me a little.
Ishy Alone · Mon Oct 24, 2005 @ 12:10am · 1 Comments |
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Dustin/Josh/Kayla... Thanx! (sarcasticly) |
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Josh keeps flirting with my friends... *cough*Kayla, Kelsey*cough* it's sad... I was talking to Dustin, almost crying and told him that i was mad at Kayla for flirting back at Josh. Dustin started to get up and i said "no Dustin! please don't tell Kayla!" and he sat back down and said "ok, I won't". i got up and went over to Cooper cuz i had already told him a little about it. Dustin got up from his seat and walked over to Kayla, he started to talk to Kayla and them. I told Cooper "i think he's telling them about it, i hope he's not! i really don't want Kayla to know yet!". Cooper yelled out at Dustin to come over to our table really quick. Dustin came over and Cooper started asking Dustin if he was telling Kayla and everybody. Dustin got all defensive and started asking questions about our questions. after awhile, i still didn't know if he did tell them or not and i was getting annoyed that he wouldn't just fu**ing tell me, so i left, almost crying again. when i got home, i found out that he did tell her. he said he wouldn't! i don't care if i told Dustin i wouldn't tell Miles about his problem, that was a long time ago! i learned from it, he should have too! GOD! he started cussing at me over the internet and stuff. i wanted to tell Kayla! i want to tell Kayla and Josh, but no! i even told Dustin that i would explain to both of them in alittle bit. he still told her! about 10 minutes later! GOD! i know he was just trying to help and all, but he made it worse! i bet you anything that Kayla is either going to be apologizing to me alot or is going to be mad at me too! either way, i didn't want it like that... thanx a lot Dustin... go fu** yourself.
Ishy Alone · Wed Oct 12, 2005 @ 04:13am · 7 Comments |
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