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Wow. A journal...
Maybe I should use this for something other than memos...
Right now I'm 20 years old and I live in Hawaii. 17 year old me would think I'm in Heaven. Freedom from my parents. Living on a semitropical island. Thing is... These are the same things that are keeping me down right now. I don't have that extra leg to stand on. Small town boy picked and thrown into the real world. Brand new place and the first thing I encounter is RACISM? Really? I've spent my whole life accepting everyone for who they are, and I got jumped for being white and serving my country. That gave me a wake up call. I was originally under the impression that everyone possessed common sense. I could babble about how much this guy pissed me off, but I'm past it. The point is, the real world gave me a wake up call in the form of some stoner's backhand.
After this, I continued to do what the Navy trained me to do. Be the best sailor I could. This of course, led me off the path of adventure that I've been longing for for so long. In fact, this whole has been hard on me for music. I have sunk more into my video games and comic books than ever. Existential depression started to kick in.
Ever since I left home, odds have been against me. But you know what? I like it that way. What's the point in being the world's greatest musician if you don't have a cool story to tell about how you got there. 1-18 was the happy-go-lucky prequel. 19 was my depressing Batman: Year One origin story. I'm twenty now, and the real adventure begins. This island is very limited as far as getting a music career started. So I'm dedicating myself to training. Being the greatest singer was too small of a goal. I've achieved it. I'm past it. I've got to be the greatest musician in the world. King of the Pirates for the Soul. There's no one in this world who can compete with me. If they could, I would simply strip them of their power in mind with my uncontrollable arrogance. No. This competition in strictly between me and myself. The alternate universe me who made all of the right decisions. He has a major head start. But I have my secret weapon. Explosive willpower to make Hal Jordan look like a quitter.
That's right I've changed. I'm not the kind of person to walk away from an experience without gaining anything of value. All these years I thought my worst fear was imprisonment. Well this chapter of my life taught me otherwise.
Nothing is worse than a meaningless existence.
Purpose. Why am I here? Some of our childhood questions have been retconned by society that we forget how to imagine. I remember my favorite childhood activity was simply thinking about space. The concept of infinity. Infinity beyond that. Anything was possible if you went far out enough.
But no. Scientists say the universe is curved. God says we're alone. DC says the Anti-Monitor destroyed it all. Well I disapprove of your realities and replace them with my own. Stick it to the man.
The man. Most people associate the man with the government. I disagree. The government is simply the target the we painted on the man's back. The man is the beast of a hive mind that mankind has created for itself.
It's been proven that all art is a reiteration of itself. "Originality doesn't exist". Some take this as an excuse to not create. Wrong. Imagine the first painter. He has three primary colors, and a canvas. He uses these colors to paint the buffalo. He praised for his originality. The second painter doesn't have much to work with, but he mixes these colors, fills his canvas with his heart and soul, moving beyond the canvas, painting the world. The man comes along, takes one look. "I've seen it before."
Take inspiration from others, add your own flavor to it. You may be thinking, I don't have a flavor, everyone is simply a product of their upbringing. It may be true that every part of may belong to someone else, no one has my traits quite the way that I do. I am a finely crafted piece of art. Raised through a great series series of incidents and circumstances that made me the brilliantly complex yet surprisingly simple human being that I am today. It just took me a year of having my head cut off for me to figure it out.
I am me.
There's no one else I rather be.
I'm the very best, can't you see?
Yar har deedly dee.