I love him... and I can't tell him. I don't know why. I said it once when I was drunk and he said "I love you too" but since then I haven't been able to tell him... I'm almost afraid. I even have dreams about it and in every dream I say it to him and he says nothing back. I've been having the same variation of that dream for almost a month now and it's damn near every night that it happens. I'm so confused. I wonder if I should just ask him how he feels about me. Nah... that's dumb... Anyways. There's a complication factor to this relationship. ******** Josh keeps showing back up and ******** things up. He's total sabotage, but I can't kick him. He's like an addiction. I love him too, and he knows it, we even are comfortable enough to tell eachother we love one another already. I guess me and Josh have been "Loosely together" for about 9 months now. It's so weird... I don't know how to feel anymore everything is just... complicated. When I'm with Brian... I feel so good, we have so much ******** fun, it's crazy but we NEVER get to see eachother, it's gotten down to like... twice a week where I get to see him and I'm not sure if it's healthy. I think about how it would be better for us to go back to being just friends, but then I see him and everything melts away and I don't want to be anywhere else but in his arms. Everything about him I like... sure he's a little crazy, okay... a lot-a crazy, but when it comes down to it, we're so ******** compatible and everything clicks. I just don't know if I can be in another relationship where I don't get to see my lover... I don't know... I just know I'm in love and confused. It sucks. Plus... my job sucks and I want to go home. ******** all this hahaha.
 Bunn-eh · Fri Dec 11, 2009 @ 03:07am · 0 Comments |
