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Decisions: effect to the cause |
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alright, it's been a while and since i haven't taken the time to come up with something new, i'll just place an essay i wrote for another site [fictionpress.com, u may find me under the penname: rosemistress]. it's pretty interesting and very much like my other entries except for the fact that it'll be more formal, after all it's an essay. but i hope u enjoy it anyway:
Decisions…they involve everything, are everywhere, never leave you alone. Everything always involves a decision. Whether small or big, ridiculously important or seemingly useless…they are always there, surrounding us, plaguing our mind. Some are taken without giving it much thought, unconsciously, even. But there are others that take weeks, maybe even months, before one is chosen. We, as humans that we are, poorly know when to draw the line. What line? The one that states just how much time of thought should be invested in one or another choice. It is precisely this time, the one poorly taken into consideration that decides whether or not the action will be carried out. Allow me to explain: the longer we think about something, the more time we spend terrifying ourselves with the “what if” and those outcomes that we so much fear and try to avoid. But avoiding them implies not carrying the action out. Yet at the same time we want it so bad, but fear stops us. And it becomes a vicious circle in which we never do what we wanted. I acknowledge this is not always so. Circles are not always in their circled form. They may break and become something else, actually have a different outcome, an end. But just like that they can remain in their circled form, a repeated process over and over and over again. The shape of this “circle” depends and will change accordingly to its owner. Back on our actual topic, there is more than that sole outcome of nothingness. There are people who after a very long process of thinking do in fact carry out the action. But as we all may know, these people are an “endangered species” NOTE: I by no means imply any sort of criticism or hurtful thought; it is a “metaphor” sort of that means these people are rare, few in numbers. Now that that is settled, we carry on…. These people are rare to find.
There are also those who take their actions without thinking, at all. While it is obviously not good to think “too much” for a decision, not thinking at all is wrong as well. If you don’t consider any outcome at all, you may miss that one tiny hunch inside of you that could warn you when you are about to do something you should not. “BAD IDEA!!” This sort of thought would be missing, and that alarm that sets off inside of us when we trespass in territory we should keep away from is not heard. Like a silent alarm…what good is it if you cannot hear it, and hence will ignore it? What’s the point in having it then? And so, all decisions should be given some thought. Note, however, that thought does not imply spending unnecessary time. You see, each thought has a given time in which it should unravel itself inside of you….a given time that you may use to consider the possible outcomes. That designated time, allowed and chosen by common sense, is the one that is ok to use, and even should be used for the considerations. More than that is out of the question. More than that would be in some way hurtful towards the one doing the thinking. Perhaps not pain, exactly, it all of course depends on the situation at hand; however, it could be hurtful. And so, more than the normal time just shouldn’t be used. Furthermore, getting back on track, taking decisions without thinking at all should not be done because instinct would be shut out from out thinking process. Once more, why should we have instinct if we are not going to use it? Of course, don’t say “then let’s not have instinct anymore” or “what if I don’t want that alarm at all? Let it rot, because I won’t use it.” Such thoughts are wrong…such thoughts should be the ones shut out, not instinct. And so, there should be a happy medium. There are such things as “too much” and “too little”, and they apply to everything, even this.
Moreover, if it’s common sense that draws the line, why is it that we can’t seem to get it right? Its right inside of us, so why is it so hard to get it right? Simple, because we are all humans, and in being so we are credited with wrongs. We may take wrong decisions, trip on rocks, just get anything and everything wrong…and it’s perfectly ok, because we are humans. However, we cannot dump our problems on that simple statement. We must do something about them, and that is where the biggest mistake lies. We do not know where to draw the line, we commit the very same mistake each and every neighbor committed, but it’s ok, “because we are humans”. This seemingly draws away from our main topic, but think it through, and you’ll see that it does not fall back for much. We are humans and do not know where to draw the line. So we take that excuse, and everything we do “is ok because we are humans and can err”. Yet it is that very statement that makes us not know where to draw the line. Because we are paying attention to the excuses, we fail to see the possible solutions, and there lies another big mistake. One causes the other, effect to the cause. And in so doing we create a vicious circle…be it the one of not thinking and getting in trouble, thinking too much and never doing anything, or looking for an excuse to try and justify our mistake…it never ends, and it is all our very own fault…
well, that's it. hope u enjoyed it, don't forget to tell me what u think wink
 Sotur · Mon Sep 03, 2007 @ 06:48pm · 0 Comments |
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Why is it that we feel the need to be acknowledged? why do we need for someone to tell us :yes, very good: 3nodding or something like that? can we not b happy with our own thoughts? answer is...no. the simple need of acknowledgement proves so. the real question, then, as asked b4, is why...why the need to prove ourselves? honestly, i'd say the answer isn't all that complicated: we live off the opinions of others, not our own. what the majority thinks is often more important than our beliefs, our REAL beliefs. if the majority says to go in a complete and total opposite direction of what we trully feel and/or want...we'll do just that. the "healthy" thing to do [according to some, NOT ALL] stare would b follow what we want. but we are accostumed to not doing so. we have grown so used to doing what we are told, that we have almost lost the sense of individuality. some may say it's wrong to try and prove urself, others that it's pointless, both or none that it's not healthy for the mind to push ourselves thus far crying ...but we do it anyway. if we don't, we give up. but we give up completely, not in our decisions, but in the world's decision, too. we simply abandon that path, or somehow change it...anything to keep us from going to our "failed ground" gonk . personally, i wouldn't say it's healthy to push ourselves and to try and prove ourselves so much. but i wouldn't say it's unhealthy, either. if it the only force that drives us forward, then we have no choice but to embrace it, bcs otherwise we'd have nothing to do, and then we'd have no life. what's the point, then? confused there doesn't seem to b one, and there is none. not if proving ourselves to others is the only thing we have and we let it go. of course, other things may b embraced. if so, then new meaning comes to life. but if not...what then? .....nothing....
Sotur · Mon Nov 27, 2006 @ 10:04pm · 1 Comments |
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If words are not enough... |
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crying On continue the enigmas of life. When words are not enough, what do we do? Yes, actions are stronger than words, but what if we are afraid of said actions? Should we speak? But what if we don't want to? eek We run away, hide amongst hints, unclear messages, whispers, and whatever we can think of. ninja We do not wish to utter words, so we hint. But hints are not enough. The person to whom these hints are directed to does not understand. He/she continues to carry out whatever has caused the reaction...no result. We end up with no result because we do not wish to say anything. But words are necessary. Without them we would burst. We close the lid too much, too tight, making sure nothing comes out. but if nothing goes out, nothing will go in, either. we will be the reason for our own destruction. call it a slow self-destruction result. and so...what to do? there are times in which we must open the lid, but not harshly and quickly...it must be done slowly and with ease. xp were it not done that way, things would pour out unexpectedly and it would be another way of destruction. the container would burst because too much it coming out at once. then there's also the unclear messages. perhaps a different way of calling the hint, but i suppose another option nonetheless. so with these we confuse the person. in an attempt to clear out things, we simply mess them further because we refuse to be clear about the matter. gonk xp but why? are we afraid? and if so, of what? the reaction of the person? accepting the truth? is it fear that really involves just us? do not call it selfish, for it is not. it is precisely what we should pay attention to sometimes. that does not, however, mean that we will always think about us. we must think of others, as well. but sometimes we confuse this with our own fear, and then we say we are thinking of the other person, when we are really just running away from that which we fear. truth may be painful, but we cannot block it out because of that. slowly we must accept it. cry it'll be for the better...yes, in the end it'll be for the better. you may think that is not so, but it will. as for the whispers, and anything we can think of...well, these would be a gather of what has already been said. but allow us to make the union clear, since that is what is is about, making things clear. the whispers...they are us. they are out thoughts, those that are whispered because they should not be so strong as to be spoken aloud. but ironic as we are, we pay attention to precisely that which should not recieve that degree of attention. in which case we are once more hurting ourselves. why is that? because we are not doing what we must, what we should. and in hurting yourself you are indirectly hurting the other person. heart He/she worries about you. you hurt and they hurt, and so you hurt both yourself and that person at the same time. not your goal? was that not what you wanted? of course it wasn't, but it is, however, what has been achieved. sad because you have not been clear about things the feared and at-any-cost-must-AVOID result is precisely what comes to be. and it is all because of words and actions. they who should be the key to unlocking peace are misused and transformed into the keys that lock away precisely what we wanted unlocked. it is because of fears...everything is always because of fears. fears...and circumstances. but that one is a topic for another day. today, what was to be said, has been said. and for the last of it, a direct tie of the concepts: because you fear a result, and truth that would bring forth said result, you decide to hint and give unclear messages. but that is not enough, words must be used. yet you do not want to. you fear the words, you run away and hide under those hints. but they are not enough, the problem remains. hint after hint...where is the peace?! scream where is the seeked result? scream locked away by those hints. but you do not abandon them. and on goes the seemingly unbreakable chain...Only to be broken when we feel confident enough... stressed
Sotur · Tue Oct 03, 2006 @ 05:54pm · 1 Comments |
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today we shall discuss a topic that has been itchin in my mind for quite some time. smile let's begin:
what do u do when u r just dying to say something but can't bcs of strong bonds? confused one such as love? heart imagine being completely pissed at the one that u love most [in other words, b/f or g/f]. he/she says something that just ticks u off, it was the last drop to the cup evil . yet at the same time u just don't want to fight, not in the slightest. u, at all costs, avoid any type of argument, confrontation, fight. ur insides writh in pain and agony as u burn in the desire to say something, anything, to hurt that person eek , but u love him/her so much u just can't say it. yes, there is something as that last drop that tips the scale, and u let evrything out. but what if ur whole life has been sorrounded by arguments, fights, tears, unwanted confrontations, agony from a fight that isn't even urs, but since u r related, u get affected emo . what to do then? is there really a last drop in that case? i'm afraid there is...as much as i'd like to be completely tolerant, there isn't such a thing as full-avoidance of the argument. and when it arises, u have so many things inside u just don't know what to say. u want to say anything and evrything that comes ur way mad , but they r hurtful thoughts, towards the person in question and the one that is doing the thinking. see where this goes? u end up hating urself, angry and in pain cry ...all bcs u didn't say anything b4. and yet at the same time u do not regret not having said so b4. it hurts, yes, but u r not hurting the one u love. yet in not teaching them what bothers u, u r allowing them to repeat the mistake. there are many ways to deal with such occasion, one if which is unlikely to b carried out, but an option nontheless. idea u could break that habit of not saying anything, and risk the person getting hurt. that, of course, is not the intention, but no one is assuring that he WILL get hurt...there is, of course, also no reassurance that they WON'T get hurt. idea idea u could also wait 'til ur mind comes to the state of peace, in which time u can actually think better and more calmly, and then discuss the problem. u would then b ale to let it out, in a less hurtful way, and thus enlighten the person in that which bothers u, at which time he/she will learn [or should learn] not to carry out that action once more in times to come. there is also the not saying anything at all, but then the action will b carried out once more [there's that chance, anyway]. and so, u become an endless chain if thoughts and decisions, not really knowing which one to pick, until u reach the breaking point and hurt urself...that is exactly why that question of "what to do then?" arises. which option to follow? risk the pain? whose pain and break-down to risk? sad is it really worth it? the answers....r chosen by he/she who undergoes the questions plenty of times and chooses what he/she finds is more appropiate for that relationship, in accordance to how the partner will take the different options and hence give out the results.... ninja
Sotur · Wed Sep 20, 2006 @ 06:36pm · 0 Comments |
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so, a friend of mine answered my question on the whole emotions issue on the male species blaugh so, he said we women impose such burden upon them, that since "by society" we are allowed to cry, we r hence free, that they r caged bcs they r not allowed to cry or show emotions. yet how can that b called freedom if we feel so weak? how does it make it any better to have someone see u in such a vulnerable state? also, how bad is it to be seen as strong? can we really separate this issue in "male reaction" or "female reaction". is it bad to have a little bit of both? and what do u do when u want to express something, yet u can't. it builds up within u...but it doesn't go away nor can u express it....what then? what if u get emotions u do not want, u hate. what about unwanted thoughts? even if u do not carry out the ending of it all [ and by all, i mean ALL-do the math and figure it out], the thought passed by, u worryb bcs u even considered it....fear, loathing towards no one but ur very self. then what...?
Sotur · Mon Sep 18, 2006 @ 09:31pm · 0 Comments |
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