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October 3rd.

Death.

Pain.

Hate.

Destruction.

Elimination from the game.

My birthday.

People still wonder why I want to die, don't they?

8 Days untill my birthday. ******** Spectacular.

Anyone tell me where I can find the shirt? I'm wearing it in real life right now! XD; Yikes. I'd do- gottagomombyer!~aq45 basu

Today I was late to school via Court Order, then I was left clueless in Chinese class, then I lost my History homework, and I think I'm failing. Does my life not suck enough? confused ********, man... And it's all my fault! I'm responsible for my own s**t, but if everyone keeps piling their s**t all over me, then how can I manage all of everyone else's s**t plus mine? confused How the ******** the teachers don't belive me! It's not my fault that I'm overworked, my dad's abusive, my freinds are either dead or sick or hurt or in trouble as soon as I meet them, or something always ******** happens, and then-And ONLY Then--Do I see that I'm the only one around me failing. But I can't fail! I'm not being beaten again! If I fail a class, since I go to a schoo.l of choice, I'll get kicked out! I have no time for homework, so I do that instead of sleeping! And then I get yelled at for not rying my best? Are they just ******** with me? Do they know how badly my life sucks?

I won't do anything! (See last post to get this one.) I hate all men, but I love all freinds. Not they guys, but you know what I mean. sweatdrop

..................... redface I feel like my Heart just got tazered, but in a good way.....Aw, s**t. gonk If this is what I think it is, I might have to say no. Well, I have to say no. I promise myself to never do what she did. Never have,and I don't plan on it, either. This is turning into a dramallama thing pretty fast...... If it does happen, I'm not worried about me, but I'm worried about them.. sweatdrop Eh. My heart was broken when I was 6 when my dad tried to make me a drug whore. Men....I don't trust in them, no matter who they are. And when I tell them, they just cuss me out or make my freinds hate me...What to I do? sad

Eh. I need KH2 on GameBoy, man.... My mom said she'd buy me an iPod for my birthday, but I know we can't afford it...And her birthday is Sept.6th! Same day we have to go to court....s**t. And I have nothing for her! I tried, but I have absolutely no cash, and I don't have any art supplies, either. My printer has no ink, and at school, I have to keep up with Science! What can I do for her that's as nice as an iPod? I need to hurry up and get her something-at least one thing-this year. All the other years have been ruined, and I just have to get her something! I'm so selfish, thinking about my GameBoy now....... cry

I still need Gunslinger Girl back from Shiro by tommorow-Desperately needed. Of couse, she'll forget, and I might not ever see it again, or somebody lost it and she's sorry, or the mean girl from history class borrowed it and never gave it back-Eh. I should stop being negative, but without negativity, I got nothin', ya know? confused I mean, dammit, everyone eventually comes up to me after they've known me for a while and say "You know, you aren't as weird as I thought!" and they don't know how bad it hurts to hear that. It's like the feeling of burning metal scraping down your throat, and you can't even scream-And if you could, nobody whould hear you, and if they did, they'd just make fun of you or rat you out. So much for High School, huh? sad

Here I am,
Sitting at the Computer-
I just put 2 staples into my leg-
But it doesn't hurt-
I just pulled one out,
And it only bleeds a little-
No more than a pinprick of blood
trickles down-
Not enough to move,
Just glows on top in a little circle-
I always somehow imagined that it would hurt more-
Now,
I can't feel my left hand,
Wasn't there supposed to be that virus or disease that spread itself
through metals pierced into your skin?