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805-698-7584 Deanna
 Rampant Rainbow · Mon Oct 10, 2005 @ 05:33am · 0 Comments |
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Wow, I have been meaning to write in this for a few days. Well to start off I had a night mare last week, My first one ever so it was a rather nasty thing. It was really strange because I remeber it quiet vividly, it was really weird, the lighting in it was kinda like in those old P.I. movies you know were it's like your getting dim light threw a slowly spinning fan though all the light was bluish. But anyway, my brother had gotten back into his old habbit in my dream of beating me up, though it was alot worse, I was bruzed all over, I meen really dark noticable suff. So next thing I know were at this big family get together, my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousion were all there, and so I told them what he had been doing to me and they just laugh. . . Long lough like hyeenas and they would stop, I tryed to leave by my grandmother took me in her arms and would let me leave, worse off she was the one who laughed the loudest. I hated it so much, when I finally woke up after that I was crying, and it seemed like I had been crying threwout my dream as well. It really really suckith. cry
But I kinda faced my fears with it, you see for like two or three days afterwards I was teriffied beyond belife to go to sleep, I meen the first night after my dream I must have cryed for about an hour I was so scared of having that damn dream again, so for two days afterwards I was staying up tell well into the morning until I just fell over into these deep dark dreamless sleeps. But finally that weekend I faced my family, my Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents and i relized somthing, the people in my dream were not my family they just looked like they were my family. My real family would do that. Im really glad I over came all of that.
I hate being stuck between friends, people dont know when to drop it or change the subject, they just like to b***h and hammer away at somthing that will do them no good. If you dont like someone good for you but you dont need to go around screaming trash out about them at the top of your lungs, I may have been your friend first, But Im also his friend now and that matters to me so please dont try and pull me into the middle of all this worthless pointless hate.
Ok, um, wow, someone will probly get a laugh out of this, I kinda randomly desided to join this internet dating site. redface Yah go ahead and laugh, I was this morning when I joined it. But already I met this guy, we have just bairly started talking but he seems kinda nice. He live the next town over and has a cute smile. It seems like we might have a bit in common, were just going to have to wait and see how this all pans out. 3nodding
Rampant Rainbow · Sat Oct 16, 2004 @ 07:04am · 1 Comments |
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******** the world, and die, die again. |
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I dont know why I try, on so meny levels I dont know why I try. When ever I do, I get bitten, It's like petting a ravid dog, you know they will most likely bite you but you just have to, so you get bitten. Im tired of it, it's like with my boyfriend, I have come to the relization that it just has to end, but everyt time I get my nerves together to tell him so he goes and does somthing thoughtful like calling, though admittedly it still no matter what is once in a blue moon that he calls. But it cant last, theres too much turmoile and discord in our lifes right now for it to work. Maybe in a year or three but not now. I just have to find the nurve to tell him so. . .
*sighs* I really needed a friend today, some one to talk to, buut it just seemed like people just didnt have the time for it. I really needed someone to talk to, I meen I was so upset and unhappy but my friend just didnt seem to care. Maybe. . . just maybe some times I do need to be fond over like the pritty girls, but I guess I will never admit it to anyone beyond myself. I guess that's just me being me.
Rampant Rainbow · Thu Oct 14, 2004 @ 02:43am · 0 Comments |
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No greater creation then pen and paper |
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You know there are times when I feel like I should be a writter like Patrick F. McManus. He's a great writter, he writes out doors fiction, which mainly spreds to his fictional childhood which would make anybody cring and then wish it was them and not him.
I came across this excentric author by chance and a great strike of luck. An old friend of mine Jenn. whome I at one time would go camping with, well her father is a big fan of McManus so when ever we would go camping we would lisson to one of his books on tape. simple enough, then for my 14th of 15th birthday I dont quite remeber, Jenn. gave me a copy of heart "The Night The Bear ate Gumba." heart One of his older and very funny books. Which brought my dad to giving me my second McManus book, heart "The Grasshopper Trap." heart The book now a dog eared, water damaged, slightly chewed on reminate of what it once was is a beloved and constently reread treasure.
As I sit here sarounded by a small stack of books I cant help but smile. I think the next book I will start is "The Sun Also Rises" by "Papa" Hemingway. That is ofcorse after I finish this futuristice mind ******** that is "Neuromancer" heart an amazing and mind boggling story that runs the lines of D&D.
I think in the end, books are my cread in life, without them I would be pointless and without meaning. In a day of electronics mabobers and dohoppers people have forgotten the simple pleasure of reading a book. They claim it is too hard or that they dont have the time for such trivial activitys. Well if you dont have the time for reading a book why are you spending hours at a time sitting there infront of the TV playing "DOA Hard core beach volly ball" anser that in a resonable mannor. stare
Rampant Rainbow · Mon Oct 04, 2004 @ 12:48am · 2 Comments |
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